My hobby of late

The past week since my discovery of where I'll be teaching in China has been filled with all things China. That countdown to departure keeps getting perilously closer--2 weeks. Panic mode hasn't set in yet, but I think I find myself in the "very urgent" mode.

Since I've been a bit of a slacker late this summer, I have buckled down recently and resumed my Mandarin studies in a more earnest manner. The long underwear search has commenced, as well as the search for sturdy and durable, but nice clothing for teaching. Does that type of clothing exist? I've never been much of a fashion plate, but I'm not too keen on L.L. Bean clothes galore. The shoe search, on the other hand (or foot) is almost complete also. I have rifled through my closet and found some horrible brown shoes/boots more suitable for a man but very comfy and weather-resistant. Of all the things to think about, I get the most anxious about shoes. Apparently finding shoes past size 7.5 in China is impossible, so I'm trying to bring a few decent size 10.5/11 shoes (probably giant-size shoes to the Chinese) to last me through the seasons and various events.

In addition, I've had quiet times with the Father all year long, but all of a sudden those somehow seem more pressing, too. In my heart I know why I'm going, but it seems that I've wanted Him to reaffirm it. Once and a while those doubts creep into my mind and this whole excursion doesn't make much sense, like, "Who do you think you are? You can't speak Mandarin, you've never taught a class of 50 college kids, you still don't like rice... " But then a quiet voice replies, "You're mine. Your identity and strength is in me. You may be ordinary, but I've called you, and nothing else matters." So then it all sort of makes sense again, without really making sense (if that makes sense!).

So maybe I don't sound super excited right now, but I am. I love all the nations and the Chinese, especially. I know the Father is still growing and changing me, and it's okay to still have some doubts and fears. It's what I do next with those doubts and fears. Do I let them consume and incapacitate me? Or do I hand them to the Father and learn to trust in Him more? I think the latter answer wins. I can still get scared or worried, but I don't want that to stop me from being a part of the big picture of eternity!

I leave you with a random picture of my future city...