Things have already gotten rough and I've only been training in America! Yesterday after three sleepless nights, I about broke down. I felt physically and emotionally ill. We have had so much information to process and then I couldn't absorb it after a while. I was starting to question last night why I'm here and just started crying before another session started. Two of my team members were right there and they put their hands over me and lifted me up to him right there. I was sort of embarrassed at crying, but then I felt peace in the midst of my exhaustion and uncertainty.
I don't know why I was struck by insomnia for such a period of time, but I'm sure he has his reasons. First, some of my walls that I build around myself are already starting to come down and I got to see my teammates' love on display, even though we are all so different and seemingly incompatible. He has put us together for his purposes that sometimes seem really crazy.
Well, I am so grateful for the many thoughts from my teammates, family, and friends. I was blessed with a great night's sleep last night. Now I feel much more like myself and I don't feel so hopeless and ill. THANKS FOR LIFTING ME UP, PEOPLE! I'm very appreciative... I'm already reminded that I'm not alone on this difficult but pretty awesome journey.
Our training has been filled with lots of sessions that are long, but very helpful for when we finally do arrive in China. The organization I'm with is truly being used by the father to change thousands and even millions of lives! It is sort of overwhelming to feel that you are now apart of this work that is shaping lives to such an extent. And some of the information they relay can't be carried out of the room, because the organization serves in such restricted nations. It's already pretty surreal and sometimes I'm not quite sure what I'm getting myself into.
Thanks to you all who are reading this and thinking of me. I'm thinking of you, too, because otherwise I wouldn't be here!
(Here's another picture of the area. I'm fascinated with this desert).
