Living in the Second World

A while ago after a trip to the crazy local hospital, Joelle and I were trying to decide in which category China fit: Was it first world or third world? Then we came to the conclusion that it was most certainly second world. Some big cities, such as Beijing or Shanghai may be mostly first world, and some remote Chinese provinces may be third world, but we think our humble province falls into "second world" category.

This has been decided for a number of reasons. First, this place is still obviously developing. Many Chinese here talk of the day when this city and whole country will reach that stage of "developed," but for now it is still "developing." Kids go to the bathroom on the street, chickens and dogs freely run around on the "sidewalks," which may be concrete or may be dirt. You can go downtown and see some ritzy shopping places. Then you can turn a corner and see apartment buildings or little shacks literally falling apart. You can see some privileged people driving Buicks, but then the majority of people still ride rusty bicycles. There are people at the store buying a tiny washing machine, but then you pass women scrubbing their clothes in brackish pools of water in between dilapidated buildings. You see some kids rolling around in the dirt, half-naked, or being pushed in an ancient wicker chair stroller. Then you can go to the zoo and see the richest and most spoiled kids in the world. You can see apartment buildings surrounded by acres and acres of tiny vegetable gardens, where people grow their food. On the way to the other campus, you can see a lake which smells like rotten eggs, with more little farming plots built right up to the edge. You can pass a hotel with water buffalo grazing just beyond the doorstep. You can eat good food at a restaurant on tiny stools, where all the "clean" dishes don't ever get washed with soap. Or you can eat at countless vendors lining the street...

All these descriptions could probably go on and on forever. I guess the point is that China is a country full of contradictions. What is true for one city or province cannot be said of another city or province, because every situation is so unique. And what is said of one city or province one day maybe cannot be said the next day, since everything is changing at such a rapid speed. And, lastly, this communist country seems to have more different social classes than non-communist countries. There are some extremely rich and extremely poor people, and they all live side by side.

In other news, life continues to move right along here. I thought the last few weeks would drag, but that's not really true so far. We are staying fairly busy and engaged still, even though classes are over. Our team is all back together again after the Dragon Boat Festival, and I've managed to find a few students who are still around.

One student who is thankfully still around, is my special student and sister I always talk about. She is really going through some challenging times, especially ever since she became a sister. Her parents will not let her go to a local fellowship, so she is rather starved for like-minded Chinese. (In China, obeying your parents is extremely important). She can still study with me, however, and I try to bring fellow Chinese sisters whenever I can, so that she won't be entirely cut off from them. Perhaps you can think of our study today? She is still very passionate about him, but lately she doesn't seem to be growing very much.

Another huge issue was about her boyfriend. She was dating a guy who wasn't like-minded. Then when I saw her the other day, she was pretty upset. Apparently she had gone to eat dinner late one night with her boyfriend and two of his friends. They made her drink a lot, so she wasn't really in her right mind. She realized she had to get back to campus before the gate shut for the night, but her boyfriend and his friends didn't care and made her stay there. So she finally got very angry, stood up, and yelled at him in front of the whole restaurant that she wanted to go back to campus. (I can't really picture my tiny friend doing this, but I guess it happened).

After yelling at him, she ran outside to go home. He ran after her, and was also very angry. He yelled at her, and told her that she had caused him to "lose face" in front of his friends. (Losing or saving "face," and the issue of public shame is sometimes like life or death in China). He also told her she was too independent, because she usually did whatever she wanted and didn't care what he thought about it. (Heaven forbid!) So he broke up with her. She should have broken up with him a long time ago, but I'm relieved it happened, even if it was the other way around.

Now, a few days later, he feels sorry about it and wants to get back together. All her friends and family are encouraging and even pressuring her to date him again. (In China, girls still often aren't seen as valuable unless they have a guy). But she doesn't want to date him again.

After listening for a long time to her pouring out her heart, I asked her, "do you want me to say anything?" She nodded her head "yes." I don't remember exactly what I said, but I told her I didn't think that guy was respectful or honorable. He purposefully tried to get her drunk, so that she would say or do things she normally wouldn't. I basically told her it was a really rotten idea for them to get back together. Plus, her worth doesn't come from having a boyfriend. I reminded her that people are always going to fail us at one point or another, but He will never fail us, and He loves us unconditionally.

She just listened and shook her head in agreement. She didn't say much else, except she got little tears in her eyes and said, "Laura, you appeared in my life just when I needed it. You are the only one I can talk to. I can share my true heart with you." At this point I almost started crying, but then I had to tell her that it wasn't me. It was all Him. And she can always "share her true heart" with Him, day or night.

So I don't know yet how she's doing right now. I know that I can give her a little bit of advice and point her to Him, but she has to make the decisions for herself. I feel a little bit like a mother, because I want to protect her, but she has to learn and grow from her own life challenges.

Whew, what a long blog! Thanks for letting me share. Please remember to think of her. I think she could have a lot more peace in her heart and be a significant influence on this campus, if only she will totally trust Him with all areas of her life. It's certainly not easy to be a brother or sister in this country, that's for sure. Although the number of family members in him is exploding in China, there still is not near enough fellowships or training for them. Plus, they still face a lot of stigma from their families, friends, teachers, or people at work.

Thanks for your thoughts!