Flashbacks

Thanks for your many wonderful thoughts that helped me get through the past week! The week could have potentially turned out differently. I was tired, studied out, and discouraged. But the Father got me through exams, quizzes, papers, projects, and work. I tried my best, and so far it seems that I'm still in grad school. :) He filled me with diligence, peace, energy, and encouragement for others.

This past week I also had to sign up for next semester's classes--already! In case you couldn't remember (I barely can), I'm studying Public Affairs with concentrations in public management and nonprofit management. And while a part of me wants to think ahead to the future for internships, a way to return to China, etc., I can't live in the future.

In fact, I've been having little snippets of memories flood back from my time in China:

-I've been reading a great book called "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan," by Lisa See. It's about 1800s China, and all the things involved with being a proper woman in China: footbinding, childbearing, sickness, famine, obedience to elders and males, and modesty. I recalled being in Reborn's home and listening to her dear Grandma explain the painful process of having her feet bound. It was so painful, but also a great source of pride for her. Her parents also told us stories about famine, and how they had to eat bark to survive. Women no longer get their feet bound, and famine hasn't happened in China for a long time now, but I can see strong connections in others ways with traditional and modern China. Many of the same thoughts, beliefs, traditions, social structures, and motivations persist today. So many things my students told me now make a lot more sense.

-I read an article on the BBC about Chinese people creating video games to vent their frustrations with the authorities: One game, Peddlers vs. City Enforcers, "pits street vendors against officials trying to remove them." Immediately I remembered walking down the back alley of our school where illegal vendors sold their goods. Illegal vendors are everywhere in China, but only sometimes are they punished.

I'm not sure if I ever wrote about it in my blog, but one day as I was walking in the alley, I saw the uniformed "enforcers" arrive. Most of the vendors saw them coming, packed up their bicycle carts, and silently disappeared down deeper alleys. One older woman wasn't so fortunate. She couldn't get away in time. The enforcer zeroed in on her, angrily tipped her bicycle cart over, scattering her few goods everywhere. Then he began beating her as he yelled. Everyone else stood silently by. My presence as a foreigner didn't help either. In fact, my very presence could get her in more trouble, so I quickly got out of there. Thank goodness Watermelon Lady wasn't there.

-Every day I see and talk to my Chinese classmate, "Grace." While she is far richer and better educated than my precious baby students, she is still sweet and very Chinese. When I see her clothes or hear her accent, I always think about all my friends in China. Then I am motivated anew to befriend and love my fellow international students.

-This morning I saw a typical-looking Chinese family talking a walk. The mother wore a reflective visor over her face to protect her skin, even though it was cloudy. Their child was naturally a boy. I thought about all the elaborate gear women wear in China to keep their skin white. That was one thing that I never had to worry about in China--my pale skin was prized like "tender tofu," according to my students.

-Remember the camping dilemma? My friends still went camping, but I decided to go to a missions dinner at my church last night instead. I was the only person under 40, but it was an amazing time to meet other people who also have a passion and heart for missions. There were also about 10 missionaries that shared. My church supports at least 50 full-time missionaries, which is incredible.

I sat next to a man serving all over the world, primarily in Thailand and southern China. I talked with another older lady who serves in southwestern China. She and her husband have been there since China reopened in the early 1980s. We both talked about the amazing pace of change there.

Perhaps the most exciting was a man I talked to who is with Navigators International Student Ministry on our campus. He said that there is such a need for help at their English conversation clubs. He also said there is a need for a woman (like me!) to meet one-on-one with some of the female international students. There are many Chinese students, in particular. Wow. What do you think? That's exactly what I did in China, and I miss it. It seems like such an answer to prayer to be involved with international students that way.

-Summer internship hunting has also got me thinking about China. I started applying to places in the federal government, but my heart's still in China...

Thanks for your thoughts! I love you all and am praying that you will be renewed with His strength this upcoming week.