Anniversaries

This weekend has been full of anniversaries, some of them small, some of them momentous and life-changing. I remember my mom saying on the first anniversary of 9/11 that each September 11th will probably always be difficult. So on this 10th anniversary of 9/11, I reflect on life 10 years ago and then life today 10 years later.

September 8th, 2001
I vividly remember this day, because it was one of the last ballets I danced in. I had just returned from a summer of dancing at American Ballet Theater's summer intensive program and had grown a lot, especially as a dancer. My friend Katelynn and I were cast as soloists in the "Ballet in the Park," which was danced outside in the thick Kansas heat and humidity. One of the lead dancers in that ballet was inspired just a few days later to join the military because of 9/11. He was killed while serving in Iraq in 2003.

I had once planned on being a professional dancer, but that dream faded pretty quickly after that day. I'm not sure what happened--I think 9/11 made us all grow up pretty quickly and I wanted to do something more meaningful with my life. So 10 years later I found myself in the midst of several international students at an English conversation class at church helping them with basic idioms and sayings. In the past 10 years, God has brought the nations to the U.S., especially American campuses, where many of these international students are open and free to hear truth for maybe the first time in their lives.

September 9th, 2001
On this day 10 years ago my life would forever change, and hopefully there was a ripple effect from that decision that has affected other people's lives, too. Two days before 9/11 I was baptized at Lake Shawnee in Topeka, KS. I had just turned 15 years old and started 10th grade at Cair Paravel-Latin School. My life was wide ahead of me, and I was beginning to understand some of the passions God placed on my heart, which included knowing Christ and helping others know Him. So on another muggy late summer evening in Kansas, I was baptized in front of a small group of people. Little did I know how much God would continue to refine my faith and constantly pursue me every moment after that.

Since then I have lived in numerous different places, been a part of numerous different churches and fellowships, met numerous different people, and been challenged in my faith in numerous different ways. Although I have wandered at times, He is always there to bring me home. The greatest joy, peace, and satisfaction I have ever experienced in life is through my faith in Christ. Even when the world became a pretty scary place to a teenager soon after that day when I was baptized in 2001, I knew I didn't have to live life in fear. I've experienced true freedom and a feeling of "safety" when I have poured myself into others for the sake of the Gospel and followed Him literally to the ends of the earth.

And on this particular day in 2011, I sat with 100 other people at the Bloomington Chinese Christian Church (BCCC). As everyone sang "Amazing Grace" in Chinese, I was reminded how God is continually redeeming all the broken hearts and people through his amazing grace, which transcends all nationalities and languages.

September 10th, 2001
I really don't remember what I was doing on this day 10 years ago, but I know that I went to school, hung out with friends, and most likely went to ballet class afterward. It was probably the last day of normalcy I'd feel as a teenager.

And 10 years later, my roommate Cindy and I had an "apartment-warming" party to invite various friends and neighbors--American, Indian, Chinese, Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, and atheist-- over for a potluck dinner. We tried to be as welcoming and hospitable as possible to these old and new friends as we continue to try and live as Jesus would, while enjoying their wonderful company (and food)!

September 11th, 2001
On this Tuesday morning in 2001 I was in government class--my favorite. Since I was 10 I had poured over every story in the newspaper at breakfast and even kept my own "current events" journal while every other girl my age had a boring diary. :) I still remember the school uniform I was wearing that day--a navy white polo shirt and plaid skirt.

So as we settled into our seats one girl mentioned that she heard on the radio a plane had flown into the World Trade Center in New York City. None of us had cell phones or any other way to have heard this news. I also had never heard of the World Trade Center, despite my faithful reading of Topeka's little newspaper. Our teacher flipped on the chunky television in the corner so we could watch the news. We immediately saw a burning tower and were just as confused as the newscasters who were trying to make sense of it. Everyone thought it must have been an accident.

Then not too many minutes later we watched live as a second plane flew into the other tower. I remember feeling chills as everyone realized this wasn't right and it wasn't an accident. Slowly other teachers and students from other classes began to come into our classroom to watch the other events unfold--the unbelievable collapse of the towers and reports of other plane crashes elsewhere. We were all stunned and certainly aware that the world as we knew it was changing dramatically.

Over the following weeks, months, and years, many aspects of life were defined by 9/11 in some way or another: Each family in our neighborhood flew their American flags every day for nearly a year. I ended up writing for that same hometown newspaper, which included stories about fellow peers joining the military out of their sense of duty and patriotism. I was a founding member of our county's "Young Republicans" club and sat in the 10th row of a visit to our city by President Bush. I became disenchanted by politics, and realized that only the Gospel could truly transform hearts and lives. I attended the funeral of that aforementioned ballet dancer killed in Iraq. I stood in the makeshift memorial inside the Pentagon and near the craters where the World Trade Center towers once stood. I remember seeing soldiers with automatic weapons and humvees in D.C. I also traveled to and lived in different cities and countries, where we knew we had to be constantly alert, because there was this "war on terror" America waged. In China I was keenly aware that not only was I an ambassador for Christ, but also America in many ways. It was there living in a closed, undemocratic country that I could appreciate the amazing freedoms America still enjoys and protects...

And now as a 25 year-old grad student, I am once again back in the Midwest sitting in government classes, all while pondering the future. The past 10 years have been intermingled with wars and victories, loss and love, and brokenness and redemption. How could a decade hold so much? Today as I remember those brave lives lost on 9/11, I can't help but think, what will the world and life look like 10 years from now?

We remember...

We move on...with friends in my tiny apartment I share with Cindy (and Steve the fish!)