Change

This afternoon I was walking in the gorgeous sunshine down Kirkwood, which is the most interesting street in the city, where the campus merges into downtown. On this street you can see every type of person under the sun: rich, poor, black, white, hippie, hipster...

I walked deliberately, focusing on all the unique people, the myriad colors of spring, and the textured limestone of old, stately buildings. I slowed when I saw an older man with a cardboard sign that said he and his family needed help. He was sitting silently until I approached and asked if I had anything for him. I looked at him and asked where he was from, how he got there. I could only find a dollar in my purse, gave it to him, and told him earnestly, "God bless you." He looked me in the eyes and told me in an even stronger, richer voice, "God bless YOU."

My short interaction with the poor and homeless isn't rare. I interact with many individuals and families who find themselves in poverty or on the verge of losing everything on nearly a daily basis, especially through my job. However, what was interesting about this one moment was that I paused to really think and care about that person. I wasn't thinking about how to solve his problem or how he was keeping me from getting to work. After smiling and continuing my slow walk up Kirkwood, I nearly reflected aloud, "God--you've changed me!" Slowly, but surely it seems like I'm to be more thankful, alive, and engaged.

Not being fully present in the moment or situation God has placed me in has meant I've missed out on possible conversations or relationships. Someone told me, "When we're always thinking about the future and not looking to see how God wants us to love at that moment, we're closing ourselves off to ministry opportunities, blessing others, and being blessed." Someday I might get to the end of my life, realizing I never lived it, because I wasn't present in the present.

I was reminded of a similar concept in the book about practicing gratitude in our faith, One Thousand Gifts:

"Time is a relentless river. It rages on, a respecter of no one. And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here. I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment."