To Grandma

I got back from a wonderful day teaching late this afternoon. Life has been so good. When I checked my email I saw an email from my Mom to call her. Then I saw another email from a woman who said she was sorry about our grandmother passing away. It sounded like my grandma Freeze had died. I was in shock and immediately started crying a gallon of tears. Grandma was on my list of people to call for the past several days and I've either been too busy or too tired to call her. I had written her a letter from China, but I hadn't called.

She celebrated her 95th birthday on Monday. Then I guess she had surgery on Monday or Tuesday on her infected foot, which I found out a little bit ago. I got a hold of my mom, even though it was only 4 a.m. her time. Apparently grandma was feeling fine afterwards. How many 95 year olds can have surgery and feel totally fine? She's always like that. Just always amazing. But I guess her blood pressure went up and she had a stroke that night. Now she is in a coma and on oxygen at hospice. She isn't gone yet, but she is currently on her way to heaven.

Andrea flew home to Kansas from school in Florida. I'm so glad she can be there to say "see you again soon, Grandma!" And tonight, I'm going to call my Mom's cell phone. She will hold her phone to Grandma's ear, so I can talk to her like I had wanted to. Thank you, Father, for that opportunity!! She isn't awake, but I'm hoping she can hear. If she can't hear now, then she'll hear about it when she reaches heaven.

My grandma, even at 95, was still the sharpest, wittiest, and most charming person. Her faith in the Father and His Son was undying. Her faith and hope shone through in her kindness, encouragement, wisdom, humor, joy, and beauty. Before I left for college, she moved to Topeka, and I'll remember all the many hours we spent together talking, laughing, and just soaking in each other's company. And I'll remember the few summers and holidays when I came home from college, and how we were always so happy to see each other again and hug and hold hands.

And I'll remember the last time I saw her. It was a couple days before I left for training for China. We spent a while with each other in the afternoon. When I was leaving, we hugged and hugged. We said numerous times how much we loved each other. As I walked away down the hallway of the nursing home, I kept waving and saying I loved her. She sat there with her pretty smile waving back at me, saying the exact same thing.

Soon she'll be reunited with her family and old friends. Soon she will be age-less and whole again. Soon she will gazing upon the face and glory of the Son. It's hard to feel sad about that. I guess I just wish I could have seen her one more time. But I guess we'll have all eternity to hang out together in heaven!

I love you, Grandma!!!!!!!!!!! You were always one of my dearest, closest friends! And here are some pictures of you, Grandma, to share with everyone. You are so beautiful. The first is a recent one, where you still radiated joy every moment. The second is of you holding your first grandbaby (me, of course!). The rest are of you in your younger days. I have the black and white picture of you laughing taped on my wall right here in China. That's how I picture you laughing in heaven.

And lastly, Grandma, I know you've been reading my blog every day, because Guy has brought you paper copies of them. Thanks for reading about life here and about my passion and heart for China. I know that if you had been 22 in 2008, you'd maybe be doing the same thing I'm doing. China wasn't exactly open for you as a 22 year old in 1935. You may not be able to read a copy of this blog, but I think that's okay. In heaven you'll be able to find out the rest of the story... And I'm sure it has a happy ending.