One last conversation

Last night I called Mom and she held her cell phone to Grandma's ear. As far as I know, she's still in a coma and continues to slip away. I was so grateful for that one last opportunity to talk to her, though. I just told her again what a wonderful friend she's been and how much joy she's brought to everyone's life. It was impossible not to cry, like I had been doing for four hours prior to that. I don't remember what else I said, but it doesn't matter. I got to say one last time how much I love her.

Mom said that Grandma's shoulder twitched and her breathing quickened when I was talking. She also moved her mouth a little bit. I believe she heard me and that means more than anything. I was devastated that we hadn't talked recently, but the Father was so gracious and provided that special opportunity.

Overall, today was a little rough. I went to bed really late last night and barely slept. I taught my one crazy class this morning, and I was close to snapping. Thankfully I didn't. It is an impossibly large class and it always seems to be on the brink of chaos. I gave them a midterm today and I was constantly patrolling. They were moved so that there was a seat in between them, but that didn't stop them from trying to cheat off of each other in really obvious ways. I warned people, but many of them wouldn't stop, so I just took their exam away saying that they must be finished if they're talking. I should have just ripped it up. But I wanted to stay calm.

However, I've been having some super encouraging interactions with several other students lately, especially at English corner yesterday. I can't really write about what happened, but I just want to say that pieces are starting to fall together. Some students are starting to ask some very meaningful questions and I've been able to connect a couple with fellowship.

Thanks so much for your thoughts. I'm sort of struggling lately, but I don't walk through this valley by myself.