Struggles

I know that yesterday's post was entitled, "Keeping my spirits up" or something. Lately my spirits are up maybe every other day. I'd like for the gloomy weather to take responsibility for the days where I just want to curl up in a ball on the floor. But I know I can't blame it all on the weather. Maybe just some of it.

The puddles outside continue to grow and grow. I'm trying to focus on the fact that the land and the people really need all that water. But perhaps two weeks straight of it is about enough? Oh, and that picture is of us one early morning at school before class. Do we look totally drained of any sunlight? Do I look like I'm 30 years old? :)

Okay, maybe I sound a little negative underneath the surface. I'm really trying not to be, but I guess it's okay to let some of it show, because I'm really struggling with staying positive and purposeful! It's so difficult for me not to be consumed by the circumstances--the cold and rain that seeps into your bones, the constant supply of greasy-laden food, the abundance of dirt and grime, and sometimes feeling like I'm not accomplishing much of anything here.

Yesterday's discussions in class were great and encouraging, like I mentioned, but today's made me want to scream. I wanted to shout, "don't you ever think anything differently than you've been told? Don't you ever have any halfway creative answers??" So obviously my frustration has sort of built up. I had to calm down and remember that they are all beloved in His eyes, and that although they are products of their culture, so am I. They are just different. They don't question things out loud. They have not been taught to think outside of the box.

But on the positive side, I'm trying to focus on these things instead: the beauty of the people and their hearts, wonderful relationships with several of my students and teammates, the fact that I have any food and shelter at all, the absence of any sickness in my body for the moment, and that He is always there for me!

I've also been thinking that perhaps I was created for just a time as this: to be a teacher in the middle of China in 2009, as many hopes and dreams deteriorate because of the economic "crisis" or other things. I have the opportunity to share with them that they don't have to be ruled by the circumstances. There is a hope in something and Someone else, which you have to look beyond those circumstances to see--something I have to remind myself about, too.

Thanks again for your thoughts. We continue on, strong in His strength...

Keeping my spirits up

(The "laowai" skating down a nicer neighborhood in Nanchang, before the rain began).
(What "Gray Sky University" looks like these days).


Where to start? There are just little stories that have happened over the past couple of days, which I'd like to tell you about. None of the stories are life-changing or anything, but they are still pleasant to write about.

Lately I've been so exhausted--trying to stay warm, trying to stay dry, trying to engage my students in class, etc. But it's been a good past few days, nevertheless.

In class we have been discussing what it means to live "happily ever after." Is it money or family or something else? It has been a great topic, because my students are really interested in this topic, probably because they also want to live "happily ever after."

Today I had my top-notch freshmen class. I asked for their views on what makes people happy. So many students volunteered to share, and several of them started to heatedly debate each other--in English!! My heart swelled with pride as I just stood there watching this unfold. I only stepped in a couple of times to remind them that everyone's opinion is important.

It was a glorious moment in my time teaching here so far. It has been one of my endeavors to spark some passion or anger or any kind of emotion in them. So often they sit in class very passively, and if they share any opinion, it is usually all the same, rather meaningless thing that they've learned to recite over and over.

Today was different somehow. I especially loved listening to the class secretary and class monitor--the two highest "ranking" students-- grill each other. And the other students who got involved were also communicating in English the whole time! Not once did they revert to Chinese. Ah, I'm a proud teacher today...

This afternoon we had English corner as usual. Jodi and I were the only foreign teachers able to attend. Everyone else was off teaching special classes, or they were with Shannon at the hospital (she has a bad cough--maybe you can think of her).

Anyway, only four very dedicated students showed up in the bitter cold and wind by the pond where English corner is held. So we walked back through the puddles and gushy mud to our relatively warm office to hold an informal English corner with them.

And here's a random, but funny little story. Jodi has a new class, where she's teaching English to freshmen nursing students. There are two girls in there who sit together. Can you guess their names? Dimples and Dimpley. I probably didn't spell it right, but I just can't stop laughing about that.

In other news, I'm more than surviving. Things are moving right along, and maybe someday it will warm up, although it isn't supposed to stop raining anytime in the near future.

Gray Sky University

Blue Sky University has been more like Gray Sky University lately. I think they named the school "Blue Sky," because it would make them feel better about the weather. Now that I think about it, the skies are gray probably about 75 percent of the time that we've been here.''

There isn't too much to report lately. We've all been very busy, and just teaching and living and loving. Never before in my life have I had to rely on the Father so much--continually, it seems.

A couple of days ago I sent in my application to continue with this organization next year. I probably won't be in Nanchang again, but I would be teaching at a public university somewhere in this huge country. Perhaps you can lift me up as I have to decide if I'll stay or in what capacity? If I return, it will probably be more long-term, so that means I have to commit myself for staying for a good, long while. I'm entirely fine with the idea of staying in China; I'm just not entirely fine yet with the idea of teaching for at least a few more years.

I don't know what else to write about. In one of my classes today, we had a mock wedding. The two students who were the "bride" and "groom" have the English names Apple and Cookie. I got to play the part of the pastor. As I was "marrying" them, I was thinking, "We are gathered here today to join Apple and Cookie, two pieces of food, together in matrimony." Those are some ways I entertain myself during class. :)

I'm leaving you with a video Jodi filmed--this is what it sounds like in our apartments sometimes with all these fireworks randomly exploding in the city.