Once in a while I give my students the opportunity for a "free write." For about 15 minutes I'll let them write about whatever is on their minds. They always make me smile. They usually talk about how tired they are, how terrible H1N1 is, or driving school. Students at our university must learn to drive a stick-shift car. Most of them will never have a car, so they often think it is a waste of time and money. They also must practice at ridiculous times of the day like at 5 a.m. or 10 p.m. for two months. Sometimes you can see dozens of them practicing their driving around the school. They are all lurching forward and going as slowly as a snail in the school's old cars. It's pretty entertaining.
Anyways, here are some excerpts. Some are amusing, while others are extremely serious and sweet:
"Hi, Miss Luara. Do you have a cold? I guess, "Yes." Recently, the weather likes baby's face, you should keeping warm, eating more hot water..."
"Laura is a fantastic oral English teacher. She has cute blue eyes and she is very tall. She is a kind person and always want to improve our oral English..."
"In the past few days, I attend driving course. At first, I am excited and nervous. I can't hold the wheel well, I always go the wrong way. The coach criticize me resolutely, he said in a serious tone: "You are the worst." I am so sad, but I never give up. I'm not the worst!"
"These days I'm learning driving course in Blue Sky Automobile Driving School. I think it is very easy for me at first, but now it's more difficult than my imagination..."
"My driving coach is a serious man. He is strict to us and can't stand any faults. Once you make a mistake he will critisize at you in a very loud voice. Among all the coaches he is outstanding for his voice. And during the training time I made a name for myself by being critisized by my coach. I think everyone knows me now..."
"I have a best friend, and we got on well with each other very well, and we never brawling. But in several days ago, she suddenly told me she was ill, and it was a terrible disease. And if she didn't have a operation in time she will lose her life. My tears was seized with a sudden impulse when I heared her words. I'm so afraid and anxious about it. I'm afraid that my best friend will disappeared. And she will perform an operation in tomorrow. If the operation can't succeed, her face won't be complete. A complete and perfect face is very important for a girl. If she lose her perfect face, I don't know how she can face with it. She is still my best friend and I won't dislike and avoid her even though she is fragmentary. As a friend I hope I can give her strength."
And lastly, I received a little note from the student whose mother died recently. I had written him a note letting him know that we had all been thinking of him. Today I got this in reply:
"Hi, Miss Laura, First thanks for writing me a letter. I was so surprised when I getting it from your hand, it would be the most important present for me, don't worry I was okay, it just I couldn't adapt to the condition of the school. Second, let me say 'sorry' to you, because I had have being absent many of your class, but I wanna made you know I respected you. You are my teacher and friend. Please help me say 'thank you' to Miss Jodi, told her I thought she is kind person. To be your student and friend is my glory."
So that was a little glimpse of my student's lives and thoughts. Thanks for always thinking of them! They are some of the most precious people in the world.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Being a Celebrity
Recently some friends from our organization who teach in northern China wrote an amazing song called, "Celebrity." It was so funny, because it was so true. Coming to China as a white foreigner means you're an instant celebrity. Everyone wants to take your picture, say "hello," and practice their English with you just about every second of the day. I would have thought I had adjusted to this life by now, but it is still one of the most amusing and challenging aspects of living here.
No matter how much I want to blend in and be "Chinese," I can't. I am and will always be the "laowai" (old outsider), "waigoren" (foreigner), or "waijiao" (foreign teacher). I hear people calling me those three different versions at least several times every day. Everyone stares at me and the other foreign teachers on our team. The whiter and taller you are, and lighter eyes you have, the more stares you attract. So I win! :)
Being a foreigner in China can afford you lots of privileges. If I wanted, I could get away with most anything, because I can claim I don't understand or I'm not Chinese. Anything I do, no matter how lame, is thought of as amazing and talented by everybody. And in China I'm considered pretty beautiful. ;)
But it also has disadvantages. I'd love for people to talk to me not because I'm a strange-looking person, but because I'm a cool and interesting person on the inside. I'd love to be able to walk outside without people shouting at me. I'd love to go shopping without attracting crowds of onlookers. I'd love to cross the street without causing traffic to nearly careen off the side of the road. I'd love to walk around without people literally stopping in their tracks to gape.
Sometimes it starts to wear on me. When they holler, "Laowai! Laowai!" (Outsider!) I want to respond, "Ni shi laowai!" (You're an outsider!) Or I want to stare right back at them until they look away. Or I want to say, "Yes, I can understand what you're saying in Chinese about me!" Sometimes I have actually said or done these things, but usually the Father reminds me to respond with love and graciousness.
The other day I was having a particularly severe case of feeling like I was in a zoo being examined, and started thinking rather bitter thoughts in my head. But then the Father sent an albino my way. There is an albino on my campus and he crossed my path right then and there. He can never blend in anywhere, yet he isn't moping around. It was very humbling.
Several hours later, the same bitter thoughts began again as people snapped pictures of me outside. But then the Father sent a one-legged student my way. He also doesn't fit in with the rest of Chinese society, but he doesn't complain. Again, it was quite humbling!
I think being a foreigner in China is so much more unique than being a foreigner in every other country in the world. China, with its population of 1.4 billion people, was literally sealed off from the rest of the world until just the last 30 years. It is also certainly not a place for many immigrants, so non-Chinese stand out. It's not even close to being a melting pot like America or many other countries.
And where I live is not even close to being a tourist attraction. The only few other foreigners you see here once in a great while are usually older European couples adopting a poor Chinese baby. Many of the students at our school are from the villages in this province and have never seen a foreigner until they set eyes on us. No wonder they look a little shocked. Sometimes I wished they didn't look quite so shocked. Even children are often afraid of us.
Well, that is a little snapshot of what it is like to be a foreigner in inland China. Maybe it will be different soon as China continues to develop and open up to the rest of the world. For now, it is just a daily struggle for me to stop thinking about how I'm a reluctant celebrity. People are going to still be fascinated with my exotic self, so I need to just try to reflect His light. I want people to look at me not because of the glow of my white skin, but from the glow of His light shining through me in a dark place.
No matter how much I want to blend in and be "Chinese," I can't. I am and will always be the "laowai" (old outsider), "waigoren" (foreigner), or "waijiao" (foreign teacher). I hear people calling me those three different versions at least several times every day. Everyone stares at me and the other foreign teachers on our team. The whiter and taller you are, and lighter eyes you have, the more stares you attract. So I win! :)
Being a foreigner in China can afford you lots of privileges. If I wanted, I could get away with most anything, because I can claim I don't understand or I'm not Chinese. Anything I do, no matter how lame, is thought of as amazing and talented by everybody. And in China I'm considered pretty beautiful. ;)
But it also has disadvantages. I'd love for people to talk to me not because I'm a strange-looking person, but because I'm a cool and interesting person on the inside. I'd love to be able to walk outside without people shouting at me. I'd love to go shopping without attracting crowds of onlookers. I'd love to cross the street without causing traffic to nearly careen off the side of the road. I'd love to walk around without people literally stopping in their tracks to gape.
Sometimes it starts to wear on me. When they holler, "Laowai! Laowai!" (Outsider!) I want to respond, "Ni shi laowai!" (You're an outsider!) Or I want to stare right back at them until they look away. Or I want to say, "Yes, I can understand what you're saying in Chinese about me!" Sometimes I have actually said or done these things, but usually the Father reminds me to respond with love and graciousness.
The other day I was having a particularly severe case of feeling like I was in a zoo being examined, and started thinking rather bitter thoughts in my head. But then the Father sent an albino my way. There is an albino on my campus and he crossed my path right then and there. He can never blend in anywhere, yet he isn't moping around. It was very humbling.
Several hours later, the same bitter thoughts began again as people snapped pictures of me outside. But then the Father sent a one-legged student my way. He also doesn't fit in with the rest of Chinese society, but he doesn't complain. Again, it was quite humbling!
I think being a foreigner in China is so much more unique than being a foreigner in every other country in the world. China, with its population of 1.4 billion people, was literally sealed off from the rest of the world until just the last 30 years. It is also certainly not a place for many immigrants, so non-Chinese stand out. It's not even close to being a melting pot like America or many other countries.
And where I live is not even close to being a tourist attraction. The only few other foreigners you see here once in a great while are usually older European couples adopting a poor Chinese baby. Many of the students at our school are from the villages in this province and have never seen a foreigner until they set eyes on us. No wonder they look a little shocked. Sometimes I wished they didn't look quite so shocked. Even children are often afraid of us.
Well, that is a little snapshot of what it is like to be a foreigner in inland China. Maybe it will be different soon as China continues to develop and open up to the rest of the world. For now, it is just a daily struggle for me to stop thinking about how I'm a reluctant celebrity. People are going to still be fascinated with my exotic self, so I need to just try to reflect His light. I want people to look at me not because of the glow of my white skin, but from the glow of His light shining through me in a dark place.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Welcome, December
It is almost Shi Er Yue (December)! Last time I wrote how blessed Thanksgiving Day was. Then the next few days after that have just been rather strange. I'm glad for a new month in just a few hours!
Not too much has been happening. Students are wonderful and life is okay. I have a cold, but it's not too bad. It has been cloudy and my head feels like it is in the clouds. Everything is fuzzy and in slow-motion.
Can you please think of me? Lately I'm just feeling sad and disconnected from life. I'm always around people and doing different activities, but I'm just feeling alone. I really miss my family and familiar things. I know He is still close, though...
Here are a couple pictures from open house this past weekend. For one of the pictures we were pretending to be models. I thought they did a pretty good job looking model-y. :)
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