Happy 3 month anniversary to me! I've been back in America for 3 whole months now, which seems like such a short time, but also an eternity! Yesterday I was talking to a Chinese person, which I do about once a day, but I realized my Chinese has gotten a lot worse. I'm already forgetting a lot. It's hard to prioritize: spend time studying Chinese or studying for my crazy classes that I'm struggling in? At this point I feel like it's impossible to do both.
Today I worked all day, which I always enjoy much better than stuffy classrooms. I'm learning a lot, especially from the 3 people who sort of shepherd me. They have big hearts and a lot of practical skills. One of them reaffirmed my belief that this town is super cool, but also filled with hippies. He said, "In you hadn't noticed, most people around here think the calendar still says 1968." I've never lived in a place with so many hippies! Pretty interesting.
Again I got to visit some non-profit agencies. I went to a tiny homeless shelter that crams 30 people in there. The rooms looked pretty close to the crowded Chinese dormitories. I also had the longest chat with a guy at a mental health clinic who counsels homeless people who have mental illness. Talking to him I started to fear that I had a mental illness. When I left after a while, he shook my hand, half-bowed, looked me right in the eyes, and said, "It was such a pleasure." He says he counsels about 300 homeless a year. Apparently Bloomington, since it offers so many social services, is sort of a mecca for the area homeless. It's always a humbling experience to visit these places.
In other news, I have decided that many American boys are very nice looking. Is that okay to admit? I've never had a boyfriend, so I wouldn't exactly say I'm boy-crazy, but I do like boys. In China I couldn't date, and probably wouldn't date the lovely Chinese boys. For one, I was much too tall for them, my hair was shorter than theirs, and my clothes were less frilly than theirs.
So here in America I get along with all types of boys just swell. I can be friends with them, which I'm good at. If they like me, I'll hide, but that doesn't mean I don't have little crushes, all of them which would never work out, but are still fun. Here are some examples:
1.) One of the city bus drivers. He wears aviator sunglasses and shouts "Eigenmann Hall!" in such a dignified, manly voice.
2.) A guy I'll call "Steve." I met him at math camp when I first noticed his good head of hair, handsome face, and retro glasses. He was the 1950s guy for me. And as a rugged, recent Peace Corps volunteer, the girls are smitten. He told my friend that I have "amazing hair." So now I get all flustered and talk to him in a tiny Muppet voice.
3.) Another guy I'll call "Tim." He's a very nice guy who is ridiculously funny, a sharp dresser, and easy to get along with. We're classmates and work at the same place. We talk to each other a lot. But our conversations seem to get interrupted by his boyfriend appearing out of nowhere...
4.) There's the fruit guy at Kroger's. One time I asked him where the lemons were, and he just gazed right into my eyes. :) Now, he tries to talk to me whenever I'm buying fruit. Sigh... it must be my hair!
So there you have it--why I like American guys but will somehow never manage to actually date one. Enjoy your awesome weekend!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Outsider Looking In (7)
My brain does not work apparently. I've been trying to get it started up for school and learning again. It's frustrating to not understand half of your classes, even after going in for office hours. It's like people speak on a totally different plane. I realize our program is in competition with Harvard, but I didn't think that would mean I actually would be attending Harvard. I like to be low-key and have few ambitions in life. :)
My brain's never hurt so much in my life. Grad level Economics and Statistics are consuming my life. I actually somewhat understand Public Management and Finance classes, but those other two are a different story. Monday night at 9 p.m., I was sitting in lab staring at my computer screen trying to learn statistics software programming. It was like reading a book in Russian or repairing a space shuttle--something totally foreign. I found myself thinking, "How on earth did I ever get signed up for this?"
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Wandering around the grocery store, walking into city hall, or catching the bus to class, I feel like I'm in a daze. Even while I'm talking to people, I feel very far removed, like I'm not really there. Is that some sort of mental illness?
Anyways, after a nearly impossible Econ. quiz today, I was sitting in another class with my genius classmates. They were actually complaining bitterly about the quiz, so I didn't feel so terrible about it. One girl said brightly, "Well, when I get sad about it, I just remember there are children starving in China!" Which got me thinking about my next topic...
7.) Poverty
With my new swanky job, I've gotten to see some not-so-swanky, albeit interesting parts of the community. Part of my assignment lately has been to visit about a million non-profit agencies in Bloomington to see what they're up to. This city may only have 60,000 people, but it seems to have a non-profit for every 10 people.
But I don't even know how clients or people in need find these places. I've already missed 3 appointments because I got lost. They hide their organizations in the seemingly most remote, hidden places. I've had to call, stop at car repair shops, and ask people on the street where these places are. It's like being a detective, but not so glamorous.
So I've visited food pantries, food kitchens, shelters, halfway houses, daycares, etc. If you are poor in Bloomington, you are well taken care of. There's no excuse to be hungry or homeless, although I'm certainly not being judgmental. I realize America's an expensive place.
But that got me thinking about how poverty seems relative, and how America actually seems more socialist than communist China. In China the people in poverty lived in terrible conditions. There was no safety net for them--no welfare, no shelter, no food, etc. Hundreds of millions of people in China live on less than 2 dollars a day. They literally live in hovels or on the street. Many of them have rags for clothing, and some die right there on the street. Being poor in China means you don't have food or a roof over your head. And they are all skin and bones.
Now in America, poverty seems more relative. Yes, there are some extremely poor people in America, but at least most of them have options--welfare, Medicaid, food stamps, food pantries, shelters... Being poor in America, or at least the Midwest, seems to mean that you don't have a car or a house. But actually a lot of them do have cars. Most of the people getting food at the kitchens and pantries drove up in cars. One lady actually drove up in an Jaguar.
And the poor people look different in America. Most of them don't look underfed, and a lot of them do have a roof over their head. They were wearing clothes just like me. The thing to me that seems poor about them is their spirit. Most of them look ashamed and dejected, but not like they're on the verge of starving. It's hard to put my finger on it.
All this said, I'm thankful for the chances I'm having to go and visit these places, especially as I'm working for a department that does a lot with the underprivileged in Bloomington. I'm not trying to be heartless, it's just strange that the poor in America would probably be quite middle class in other countries. And middle class folks here are quite upper class in other parts of the world.
And I was informed that I could go to the food pantry, because I'm technically under the poverty line as a grad student. Hmmm... Maybe I should consider that. I saw some amazing organic food at a pantry I visited tonight. People can even get organic food for free! Sign me up.
My brain's never hurt so much in my life. Grad level Economics and Statistics are consuming my life. I actually somewhat understand Public Management and Finance classes, but those other two are a different story. Monday night at 9 p.m., I was sitting in lab staring at my computer screen trying to learn statistics software programming. It was like reading a book in Russian or repairing a space shuttle--something totally foreign. I found myself thinking, "How on earth did I ever get signed up for this?"
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Wandering around the grocery store, walking into city hall, or catching the bus to class, I feel like I'm in a daze. Even while I'm talking to people, I feel very far removed, like I'm not really there. Is that some sort of mental illness?
Anyways, after a nearly impossible Econ. quiz today, I was sitting in another class with my genius classmates. They were actually complaining bitterly about the quiz, so I didn't feel so terrible about it. One girl said brightly, "Well, when I get sad about it, I just remember there are children starving in China!" Which got me thinking about my next topic...
7.) Poverty
With my new swanky job, I've gotten to see some not-so-swanky, albeit interesting parts of the community. Part of my assignment lately has been to visit about a million non-profit agencies in Bloomington to see what they're up to. This city may only have 60,000 people, but it seems to have a non-profit for every 10 people.
But I don't even know how clients or people in need find these places. I've already missed 3 appointments because I got lost. They hide their organizations in the seemingly most remote, hidden places. I've had to call, stop at car repair shops, and ask people on the street where these places are. It's like being a detective, but not so glamorous.
So I've visited food pantries, food kitchens, shelters, halfway houses, daycares, etc. If you are poor in Bloomington, you are well taken care of. There's no excuse to be hungry or homeless, although I'm certainly not being judgmental. I realize America's an expensive place.
But that got me thinking about how poverty seems relative, and how America actually seems more socialist than communist China. In China the people in poverty lived in terrible conditions. There was no safety net for them--no welfare, no shelter, no food, etc. Hundreds of millions of people in China live on less than 2 dollars a day. They literally live in hovels or on the street. Many of them have rags for clothing, and some die right there on the street. Being poor in China means you don't have food or a roof over your head. And they are all skin and bones.
Now in America, poverty seems more relative. Yes, there are some extremely poor people in America, but at least most of them have options--welfare, Medicaid, food stamps, food pantries, shelters... Being poor in America, or at least the Midwest, seems to mean that you don't have a car or a house. But actually a lot of them do have cars. Most of the people getting food at the kitchens and pantries drove up in cars. One lady actually drove up in an Jaguar.
And the poor people look different in America. Most of them don't look underfed, and a lot of them do have a roof over their head. They were wearing clothes just like me. The thing to me that seems poor about them is their spirit. Most of them look ashamed and dejected, but not like they're on the verge of starving. It's hard to put my finger on it.
All this said, I'm thankful for the chances I'm having to go and visit these places, especially as I'm working for a department that does a lot with the underprivileged in Bloomington. I'm not trying to be heartless, it's just strange that the poor in America would probably be quite middle class in other countries. And middle class folks here are quite upper class in other parts of the world.
And I was informed that I could go to the food pantry, because I'm technically under the poverty line as a grad student. Hmmm... Maybe I should consider that. I saw some amazing organic food at a pantry I visited tonight. People can even get organic food for free! Sign me up.
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