Rejected, but not dejected

Perfectionist Laura who always wants to be the best, is learning how to deal with rejection; mainly from the federal government. Like a diligent master's student, I have applied to many internships this summer. And one by one, I'm receiving kind emails of rejection. I'm starting to get used to it. Each time they say how competitive it is, blah blah blah. One department, which had maybe 100 openings, had 11,000 applicants. Yes, you read correctly. 11,000. So I certainly don't feel badly about that particular one...

I should continue to hear from other departments in March and April. I'm trying not to feel dejected. I'm sure if they met me in person, they'd really want to hire me. :)

In other related news, I have the opportunity to return to China this summer with the organization I spent the last 2 years with. I would be a team leader of 8 to 10 American college students, who will be teaching middle or high school students in China. I could have gone to Hong Kong or something, but I volunteered to lead a team to mainland China, and hopefully a remote, Muslim area like Ningxia.

There are a lot of reasons why I want to return to China this summer, and I think it would be very challenging. I'd have to be a leader, mentor, mother, and travel guide 24 hours a day. I'd also be the liaison with the host school, observe my team members teaching, and all that sort of stuff. If I go, I will have to raise some support again.

So the bottom line is that I have to commit one way or another to team leading in China by March 10th, which is probably before I'll hear from several other internship opportunities. Will you please keep me in your thoughts about this? I don't think it is an extremely big deal, but I want to honor the Father in my decision on how to spend my summer.

Good poems

My grandma was a poet. Not professionally, but more recreationally. She had a haiku published in a poetry book at probably the age of 80. I just remember that she had managed to find a fancy word that rhymed with "orange."

For some reason I've thought a lot about her lately. Maybe because my roommate next year is from Nashville. Maybe because Valentine's Day came and went, and she was one of the my most beloved friends. Maybe because I wonder if she saw me today, if she'd be proud of me. Maybe because, over 2 years after she passed away, I still wish I had been able to say goodbye to her and hadn't been on the other side of the world. Maybe because I need some encouragement right now, and she was the most encouraging person I've ever known. Maybe because I need her to keep pointing me to the arms of Christ.

As I'm feeling overwhelmed by school and life, I'm reminded how she was always assured of the goodness and faithfulness of the Father. I've delighted in His goodness and faithfulness this past week as I've taken long walks, ice-skated with my friend and a million teenagers, seen the beautiful blue sky, and gazed at the stars. I hope you're also reminded of His goodness and faithfulness, even if your world is crumbling. Even if your world seems perfect. Even if you're lost and all alone. Even if you're surrounded by tons of friends. Even if you're being pelted with rain. Even if you're basking in the warmth of sunshine. Even if you're grief-stricken. Even if you're bursting with joy. Even if you're feeling completely inadequate. Even if you're feeling strong and healthy...

And He delights in us. Isn't that incredible? He delighted in my grandma's poetry. He delights in us as we use our lives to bring glory to Him. Maybe He even delights in me as I struggle through grad school, wondering how I'll make it.