One of those days

It is mid-week and I'm running low on everything--patience, energy, motivation, etc. The past couple of days I've just felt like a crummy teacher. Even my good classes aren't really paying attention. It is starting to set in that I'm here for the long haul. I have several more months of teaching, long days, and giving all of myself to others. I know I can't do it on my own; I have to continue to rely on Him.

Outside of class I had some good interactions with a few students. I'm going to eat lunch in the student "canteen" with a few girls tomorrow. (I'm bringing a back-up sandwich for later, since I heard the student cafeteria is worse than the teacher's.) That is pretty exciting that the students are warming up to me and are approaching me more now.

There were also some other interactions outside of class that were disappointing, and I can't elaborate on them in this blog. It was the first time that I've ever started crying at the school since I've been here. Today I just had a heavy weight of trying to work inside this culture and system. Sometimes I forget that I'm an outsider, but I was definitely reminded of it today. I know I haven't explained much, but can you please lift these issues up?

Today the weather was overcast and a bit drizzly, but it was a nice change of pace from 30 days of constant heat and haze. I taught a new lesson on "money," which turned out very interestingly. We talked about idioms and proverbs relating to money, and most of the students had the same opinion. The discussions were good because they had strong beliefs on money, happiness, etc, so they weren't afraid to talk. However, all the opinions were so similar, and it was hard to get any diverse answers. A few of their answers sounded like they were straight from a communist textbook.

The class went crazy when I pulled out two ragged American dollars and passed them around. It was sort of funny. In the end, they weren't that impressed, though, because the dollar "isn't as colorful" as the Chinese yuan. I agree. We also did an exercise where we pretended the class had 100 yuan to spend however they wished. Each group came up with an idea and tried to persuade each other to choose their idea. I had the class vote on the ideas. Some ideas were Mp3 players, basketballs, diapers for poor babies, and "donate it to somebody." They decided on getting a radio so the class could listen to the BBC. Fair enough.

I know this entry isn't all sunshine, but it's the truth and I'm glad I can share some of it with you. Can you think of us as we teach and try to build relationships? Can you think of me as I'm battling a toe infection and on the verge of having a sinus infection? Thanks so much. You are the best!

Xin Xiao and Lao Xiao happenings (What's going on at the new and old campuses)

Life is moving along here... This morning I had two classes in a row. The first class was good and then I had my challenging class. I walked into the challenging class with a positive attitude and I left feeling a bit dismayed. It is difficult to have patience with them. About half of the class pays attention and the other half won't. I moved some of the talkative people to the very front and they were actually engaged. Some days I really wish there weren't 50 plus people in my class. It is hard to engage every single one of them.

In today's lesson we talked about "travel:" the places you can travel to, how you get there, and what to bring. I had them imagine we were all flying to America together and I asked what we needed to bring. They listed the normal items, like passport, visa, and ticket. Most of them were pretty adamant that we bring a compass to America. I said that wasn't probably necessary, but we could bring it just in case. Then they said that we would have to bring a gun. What is with my students and guns? It almost makes me want to laugh. They imagine America like they see in the movies--amazing, exciting, and extremely violent. I'm not here to teach American culture, but sometimes I like to try to correct some of those misconceptions.

The weather was so hot and muggy today. I felt almost suffocated, especially when I was teaching. However, this week marks the beginning of the "winter" calendar for the university. That means afternoon classes start at 2 p.m. and end at 4 p.m.-- a half hour earlier than the normal schedule. I guess it doesn't really mean that the temperature is cooler, though.

For dinner Jodi and I decided to go out the back gate to one of our favorite little family restaurants. Jodi bought an awesome old bike from a student and we were going to try to ride it. Jodi, who is about 7 inches shorter than I am, started peddling. I was perched on the back seat rack thing. We were doing okay at first, and then the apartment building walls got closer and closer and closer... Then the bike fell over. Jodi's legs got smashed, and my behind hit the concrete. We were a little bruised and scratched, but it was worth the laughs. You could tell the other students outside thought it was pretty funny, too, although most of them were trying to help us save face. They were probably thinking, "who are these people that they can't ride a bike?"

Our meal at the restaurant was great as usual. We got sliced potatoes, egg and onion, and chicken. The big family recognizes us now, and two of them have the cutest baby. The dad was chatting outside with just pants and an apron on, but no shirt. Another man was lounging on a moped seat and a guy in a blue guard uniform was standing there. He took his uniform cap and tie off and put them on the baby. The baby was so cute. Eventually the cap ended up in the baby's mouth and then on the wet floor.

When we left the restaurant, the temperature had dropped about 20 degrees. The wind was blowing strongly. I think it's cooling down! I went to buy a watermelon slice from the elderly lady on the corner. I visit her every day now and she always grabs my hand and shakes it heartily. Today she wouldn't even let me pay for my watermelon slice. I munched on the slice all the way down the alley and back through the gate, dodging mopeds, crowds of students, and basketball players. It was a great day in the neighborhood.

P.S. It just started raining!! I haven't seen rain in the whole time that I've been here! Rachael and I are sitting in our apartment and we heard a lot of screaming. We threw open the windows and watched as rain gushed from the sky. Dozens of students were running across the basketball courts and sidewalks, yelling their heads off. What a sight! I'm glad it's raining, although I'm afraid it probably will never stop for the next few months. The rain is washing away all the polluted air and the dirt on the streets. It is a refreshing torrential downpour.

One month

Today is October 20th and I've been in Nanchang for a month! It's hard to believe that I've already been here for a few weeks. Many things are growing more familiar, but there are still many new things that happen every day.

The weekend was pleasant and pretty uneventful. We caught a bus to a different Wal-mart in town that we've never been to. I can't believe we didn't try going there earlier. The 20 minute bus ride was actually more than tolerable. We weren't crammed in with a million other people and I had my own seat to sit in! We reached the Wal-mart that was the exact opposite of the one downtown. There were probably more employees than people shopping. The whole store gleamed. It was nicer than any Wal-mart in America, except it still didn't really have anything you normally would buy in America.

I ended up with a winter coat that we've been told to buy. Right now I find it really hard to believe that winter is ever coming. It is toward the end of October now and it is still 90 degrees. I feel like I live in a perpetual weather time warp. It never rains and it never gets cooler than 70 degrees.

This morning I gave my first quiz ever. I thought it would just take maybe 15 minutes, but it ended up being about 35 minutes. They did pretty well on the quiz, but they took forever to finish it. It was also challenging to get them to be quiet while they were taking the quiz. I had to remind them not to talk to their neighbor for the answer.

Then I had a short lesson on traveling for the remainder of the class. At the end I usually open up the floor for a couple minutes of questions about the lesson. One kid, who always asks the most serious and depressing questions, asked something totally not pertaining to the lesson. It went like this:

Student: "In America when strangers come into your garden, what do you do?"

Me: "Oh, you mean people's yards around their houses?"

Student: "Yes, of course."

Me: "Well, usually that doesn't happen. It's never happened to me."

Student: "It happens all the time! I watch it in the American movies. A stranger will walk into your garden and you have to point a gun to his head."

Me: "Hmmm... I think that rarely happens. Most movies you see aren't really true."

Me to the class: "Don't believe everything you see in the movies! It's usually not that way. I've never owned a gun and I've never been robbed."

Class is over.

After class another student came up to the podium and begged for a "foreign magazine." When I went home this afternoon all I could find in my apartment was an old Time magazine from 2006. I guess that will have to do.

Note to friends and family: Feel free to send me magazines (or food)!

Not much to say

Friday is nearly over. It was filled with a lot of different activities, but I'm still not that tired. I woke up like usual and went over to new campus to teach one class. It was my challenging class. At one point a girl asked, "Miss Laura, please speak louder." I said, "Okay, I will speak louder if you do not talk while I'm talking. You can't hear me when you are talking." It was a very novel idea and made perfect sense.

Then I sat in the office a while and wasn't very productive. I just wrote letters, stood by the window, and danced a little. (I was the only one in the office, by the way). At noon, we drove back to the old campus. Joelle, Shannon, and I ate at our favorite little restaurant. Then we wandered over to the supermarket, dodging traffic the whole way.

At 2:45, we had our Chinese lessons in the classroom. Jodi and I walked over to the classroom building. Along the way we passed a big class of Chinese students in work out uniforms stretching. The instructor faced them, telling them to touch their toes. None of the students could touch their toes, nor could the instructor. I was feeling a little brave and I went over and touched my toes in front of them. They all gasped in amazement and I walked away. It was pretty fun.

Chinese lessons lasted forever--about 2 hours, but I made myself stay alert. Then we went to English corner for an hour, until 5:30. Today they gave me a Chinese name. It is Ou Yang Qian, meaning beautiful or fair lady. I'm sure it's the most overused and cliche name in China, but that was nice of them to give it to me. It only took them about 20 minutes to decide on the "perfect" name.

Then for dinner Rachael, Jonathan, and I went with the FAO assistant, whom I'll call "Sarah." She is about our age. It was fun eating and chatting with her. Then I went to an internet cafe with her. The place wouldn't give me my own computer so I shared with her. I showed her facebook and pictures of my beautiful sister. It was a lot of time and I'm glad I'm getting to know her better and build a relationship.

Well, it's time to go to sleep. And I just wanted to say, I had no idea that the American economy was in shambles. Is that true? I started to realize it a few days ago when Chinese students were peppering me with questions about it. They thought it was serious, so it must be. It's good to know that He's in control.

Thursday's thoughts

Oh, what a day! I'm bursting with things to say. Last night I did end up running again. It was pitch black outside when I started running around the track. There were other people walking or talking in the dark, too, and nobody noticed me. It was great. Then about 5 minutes later, one by one, huge floodlights came on from the buildings, exposing all the people on the track and field. It reminded me of prison guard lights flicking on in old World War 2 movies. All of a sudden couples got up from the bushes where they were doing who knows what. All of a sudden you could see that there were dozens of people on the track. All of a sudden everyone could see me. I just continued running in the now blinding light. When I run here, I have to look down at the ground or over people's heads. Otherwise, I get too self-conscious. There is nothing more interesting it seems than seeing a foreigner running...

Too bad I won't be around for sports weekend in a couple of weeks! I'm pretty sure they would enter me in the races. That would actually be fun, I think. I guess usually the universities enter foreigners into really random things that they have no experience in, like shotput. Maybe I'll be around for it next year.

This morning was a good morning. It was rather uneventful, but I had my best class. They are wonderful kids. Plus their English is pretty decent. I got some quizzes copied at the school. Each quiz was front and back. So the copy shop put them on gigantic pieces of paper, so both sides were actually on the front. My quizzes look like big maps on grey paper.

At around 10:30 a.m. I was in the office with Jodi and a Japanese teacher. A man came in with a ladder, plaster, and some tools. I guess somebody decided that the huge cracks in our office walls should be repaired. So the guy started hacking away at the cracks, sending chunks of plaster onto Jodi and her desk. Then he got on his wooden ladder, which already had some rungs broken off. He stood at the top of the ladder and stuck his legs around both sides of the ladder. (See picture!) It was like he had ladder stilts for legs. Then he hopped back and forth on the floor this way. It was amazing and Jodi managed to get a video of it. There's never a dull moment!

For lunch Jodi and I went to the always busy and exciting teacher's cafeteria. I had some rice and little potato slices. Then we saw the FAO assistant and she told me to come to the FAO office because she had a bunch of fairly recent China Daily newspapers for me to read. (See picture) I was so excited to read a newspaper in English, because I have missed that from America. I asked her how she knew I loved newspapers. She just answered, "because I know everything about you." Somehow I think that's probably true.

The early afternoon passed by slowly. It was also very hot again and there was no air circulation, so I felt so tired. My afternoon class students were very lethargic.

At 4:30 we went to English corner on new campus, like every Thursday. The crowd I was with this time was a little more interesting than in the last couple of weeks. We moved beyond the "How do you like China?" and "What is your favorite food?" questions. They asked tough questions. The best one went like this:

"After the Sichuan earthquakes, they found a pig who had survived without food for 36 days. Everyone thought this was so amazing. He also represented the national spirit. They sent the pig as a present to a museum. Now the pig receives a lavish lifestyle and a very comfortable living. What do you think about this? Do you think the money should be spent on the people who were affected by the earthquake instead?"

Hmmmm.... I tried to skirt around the question. Even this pig issue could be murky territory. I said that I also thought it was amazing that the pig lived for so long without food. What a brave pig! Then I said, well, yes, perhaps money should also be spent on those people affected by the earthquake. They need help, I'm sure.

Everyone seemed to think this was a fine answer, and I was glad. I didn't offend or upset anybody.

Next we talked about modern Chinese history. The conversation came to two very famous Chinese leaders, whom I won't name. They asked me point-blank which one I thought was the better leader. I knew that both of those leaders were very respected and revered, so I said I really couldn't be the judge of that. I said that they weren't my leaders, so I probably couldn't answer.

Then we were whisked away to old campus. All the military students were training once again. They are dedicated-- especially the kid in a neck brace I saw marching around the field in his uniform.

Okay, folks, I'll end here. That's plenty for now. I hope you made it to the end of this entry. Thanks again for your thoughts!! I'd be nowhere without your thoughts and His help.

A glimpse of life

Every week day at around 5:15, our driver drives us home in the van with tinted windows from new campus to old campus. At the front gate you see the guards chatting amiably with students on bicycles or people with babies in their arms. Our driver honks his horn to signal his arrival. He continues to drive onto campus. Straight ahead there are numerous red banners with white characters on them. I can't tell what they say, but they command your attention. Then on the right as we head to our apartment is the track/playground/versatile sports field. People run around the track. Couples sit closely together in the corner under some trees. Hundreds of students in military uniforms march in the center. On the left side, there are countless enthusiastic students encircling the small basketball courts and they're cheering their hearts out. A few students wobble around on rollerblades. A moment later we arrive at the door of our building. Little babies run around and mothers pull them out of the way from our oncoming vehicle. So this is what home looks like for me now.

This morning I taught one class. I had to walk to another building like usual. I was coming down the stairs on the first floor, when I felt rather panicky about how many students are on the campus. Students were pouring down the stairs and out of the classrooms. The hallway in front of me was total gridlock. I've never seen it like that before. Nobody was moving. The hall traffic was at a standstill. I managed to squeeze alongside the wall and took another way around. For a second I thought I'd be crushed between hundreds of Chinese boys with fuzzy hair.

The rest of the day I taught and wrote lesson plans. After class when we were waiting for our driver, I walked toward the lake on campus. There was a lot going on. From a short distance I watched two of my classes fan dancing. They are preparing for sports week. It was so fun to watch both girls and guys dancing with big red hand fans. I tried not to be a distraction standing there watching. It took about a minute for them to spot me, though, and they all waved and seemed pleased I was there watching them. Those students are really starting to grow on me. Next to them, on the concrete, there was a huge game of tug-of-war. It looked very lively and painful.

Then I walked back to outside our office building, where I sat with a few of my teammates and other teachers. We did an experiment. Jodi, my Chinese-American teammate, sat on one side of a bench and I sat on another. We just sat there. Jodi put my sunglasses on. We wanted to see who drew more stares: Me, the white foreigner, or the Chinese girl in sunglasses. (Sunglasses aren't common in China). It was a tie for a while and then everyone decided Jodi won! It was so funny.

Well, it has just turned dark outside very quickly. I'm going to dash downstairs and try to run around the track before they close it or the military officers kick me out. Zai jian!

Mid-week musings

This morning I had two classes in a row. I'm getting more used to teaching and talking for 4 hours in a row. My voice only starts to go after about 3 and a half hours... Today I had my difficult class again and it turned out pretty fine! I had written a verse on a notecard that I kept with me at the podium while I taught. It was an encouraging reminder: "Always be joyful. Pr-y continually and give thanks whatever happens..." 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18. I tried to make sure all my thoughts were pleasing to Him, no matter what happened--even if the class went crazy or the blackboard fell off the wall. I enjoyed looking at that verse today more than the fascinating pictures of old communist leaders and their famous quotes that are plastered on the classroom walls.

Last night after our faculty meeting, I really needed exercise so I went running for a long time on the track outside. It was pretty dark, except for a couple of flood lights, so I was able to run around undisturbed. A couple hundred students were doing military drills in the middle of the track, but people didn't really pay any attention to me. At one point, two officers walked toward me saying something in Chinese. I think they maybe wanted me to leave. But when they saw my face they just smiled and waved me on. So I continued running around the track in the dark while hundreds of students drilled and shouted "yi, er, san!" (one, two, three).

Just another day in the life of a foreigner in China.

On another note, I've been reading a book about a man in the Peace Corps who lived in a nearby province. In this book he makes a bunch of observations I can relate to. One of the best is about how people love to honk their horns here and nobody notices anymore except for outsiders who aren't used to it. This little passage on this one aspect is so true:

"They honked at other cars, and they honked at pedestrians. They honked whenever they passed somebody, or whenever they were being passed themselves. They honked when nobody was passing but somebody might be considering it, or when the road was empty and there was nobody to pass but the thought of passing or being passed had just passed through the driver's mind... Nobody reacted to horns anymore; they served no purpose. A honk was like the tree falling in the forest--for all intents and purposes it was silent."

Pictures or stories alone can't adequately describe China. You have to hear it and smell it and breathe in the air and absorb it in your skin. It's basically a different world and I'm enjoying soaking it all in.