Chinese good-byes

The majority of my students have disappeared for the summer, without so much as a "good-bye." I only know they have left when they send me a text message after they've already arrived in their hometown.

But I was the saddest yesterday when I called my special student and friend after she didn't come to our study. When I got in touch with her, she was at the train station on her way home to Xinjiang! She wasn't supposed to leave for another couple of weeks, but she abruptly decided she had to go home that very day.

The moral of the story is that Chinese people really don't say "good-bye" like how I'm accustomed to. They just quietly disappear, and don't want to make a big deal out of their departure.

I'm just glad I got to hang out with her so much recently, and I'm hoping that she'll connect with a good fellowship back on the other side of China. At least I'll get to see her again soon in just a couple of months!

In other news, one of Shannon's students has joined the family! And one of my guy students, who has been studying with Jonathan, will also have to make a decision one way or another this Tuesday. Please be thinking of all of them! :)

And now that I have too much time on my hands, I've been thinking about the future... Not too much, mind you, since any plans you make in China will automatically be obliterated, but I still have a lot of hopes and dreams. I'm still very excited about being here next year, but I really cannot see myself teaching English for a long time. So perhaps grad school will be back in the picture soon. We'll see...

And, welcome back to one of my most faithful blog readers, my baby sister, Andrea! (She was serving in North Africa for a few weeks, and now she has safely returned to America. After this experience, her life has also been ruined for the ordinary). :)

"Today rest"

(A recent picture of my team and I)

A few days ago I was buying fruit at the usual vendor outside the front gate. I am able to understand a lot more lately of what people are saying. The difficult part is coming up with an adequate response. The woman smiled expectantly at me, and declared "Jintian xiuxi!" (Word for word , this translates into "today rest.") Was this a greeting? Was this a command? Later I asked one of my friends what I was supposed to say. She said that it was indeed just a friendly greeting and I didn't really need to say anything in reply.

So I'm feeling more at home, and I can navigate the culture quite a bit better than when we first arrived last fall. I'm able to read a lot more Chinese characters, and can understand a lot more when people are speaking. Sometimes the Nanchang dialect is frustrating, though. I've been learning "standard" Mandarin, and by golly, why can't they speak that on the streets? It would make life easier. :)

And while I'm feeling more at home here, it's obvious that many people in this city can't believe that I actually live here. I'm getting a lot better at ignoring the extremely obvious stares, gaping mouths, or the constant shouts of "HELLLOOOOO!!" or "WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!" But, every once and a while, I realize that I can't every truly be at home, just because I'm not Chinese.

Yesterday, I was happily walking along a street by campus when a man, who looked like he was from the countryside, stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me coming about a mile away. This guy's jaw literally dropped to the gravelly ground, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. He didn't make the slightest movement after that. He was frozen to the spot, and he didn't move until I was inside the gate.

I wanted to laugh, considering what he was probably thinking. He was probably visiting a relative in this neighborhood, and then he spotted the first foreigner in his life--a girl who had white skin and blue eyes and big feet. And she was much taller than all the other people on the street. What a sight! He had heard that foreigners were very strange, and here was proof! And it looked like she actually lived here and knew what she was doing! What a story to tell the wife and village when he got home!

In other news, there's still not a whole lot happening. We were supposed to go visit a random, nearby mountain this weekend, but it's been canceled for unknown reasons. I'm just studying Chinese and hanging out, while trying not to think too much about going home!!

Happenings of Late

(Eating with some people from fellowship at "Le Bistro"--probably the quietest and cleanest place in Nanchang)

(Joelle, Shannon, and I hanging out under Jodi's mosquito net. You can't escape from all the mosquitoes!!)

Countdown: 16 days until Beijing; 21 days until America; 23 days until Kansas!

After many months I have finally counted the days until I'm on the way to seeing my family and friends again on the other side of the world. Every once and a while throughout the day, I realize that I'm homesick. I didn't allow myself to be homesick any other time in the past many months, because that would have made things more difficult. But now perhaps it's okay, although I have to still be focused on what's happening here.

However, there's not a whole lot happening. There's just continual rain and heat and bugs--plenty of bugs. I just hang out with my special student most days. Yesterday we had another study together and I was able to give her some money from our fellowship in the city to help her get home to Xinjiang, which is a three day train trip. She can only afford the standing ticket, which means she must stand for three days straight (This is pretty common, but painful way to travel in China). So this money will at least help her get a seat or even a bed for some of the way.

She was pretty overwhelmed by the gift and started crying. I reminded her that family members help each other out when they're in need. She's a sister we wanted to help.

Anyway, most days we either try to cook some food in our apartments, or we eat at the tiny restaurants surrounding the school. Most meals are about 7 kuai ($1). Lately we've eaten a couple of ritzier meals for about 40 kuai ($6). We try to live like the locals, but the past couple of days we've gone to some really nice restaurants that have just about given me culture shock.

On Sunday after fellowship, we had a farewell lunch at a swanky place called "Le Bistro," which is the only Western restaurant in a city of 5 million people. Only rich Chinese go there. The menu was small according to American standards, but it seemed like there were endless choices. We all sat and drooled and deliberated for a long time. I finally ended up with a Caesar salad and piece of chocolate cake. Is it okay to cry about food? I hadn't eaten a salad in a restaurant, or tasted a real chocolate cake in almost 10 months. I about fainted, it was so good.

Then for dinner on Monday night, our team took one of the teachers from Japan to eat at a nice Japanese restaurant. I ate Japanese fried rice and miso soup. My teammates got sushi or other kinds of Japanese food. It was crazy being in a place that actually had air conditioning, and not having to sit on a little peg stool to eat!

Okay, that's all I know for now. I know I need to keep moving and thinking about right here and right now, although it's hard not to get excited about next month!

Living in the Second World

A while ago after a trip to the crazy local hospital, Joelle and I were trying to decide in which category China fit: Was it first world or third world? Then we came to the conclusion that it was most certainly second world. Some big cities, such as Beijing or Shanghai may be mostly first world, and some remote Chinese provinces may be third world, but we think our humble province falls into "second world" category.

This has been decided for a number of reasons. First, this place is still obviously developing. Many Chinese here talk of the day when this city and whole country will reach that stage of "developed," but for now it is still "developing." Kids go to the bathroom on the street, chickens and dogs freely run around on the "sidewalks," which may be concrete or may be dirt. You can go downtown and see some ritzy shopping places. Then you can turn a corner and see apartment buildings or little shacks literally falling apart. You can see some privileged people driving Buicks, but then the majority of people still ride rusty bicycles. There are people at the store buying a tiny washing machine, but then you pass women scrubbing their clothes in brackish pools of water in between dilapidated buildings. You see some kids rolling around in the dirt, half-naked, or being pushed in an ancient wicker chair stroller. Then you can go to the zoo and see the richest and most spoiled kids in the world. You can see apartment buildings surrounded by acres and acres of tiny vegetable gardens, where people grow their food. On the way to the other campus, you can see a lake which smells like rotten eggs, with more little farming plots built right up to the edge. You can pass a hotel with water buffalo grazing just beyond the doorstep. You can eat good food at a restaurant on tiny stools, where all the "clean" dishes don't ever get washed with soap. Or you can eat at countless vendors lining the street...

All these descriptions could probably go on and on forever. I guess the point is that China is a country full of contradictions. What is true for one city or province cannot be said of another city or province, because every situation is so unique. And what is said of one city or province one day maybe cannot be said the next day, since everything is changing at such a rapid speed. And, lastly, this communist country seems to have more different social classes than non-communist countries. There are some extremely rich and extremely poor people, and they all live side by side.

In other news, life continues to move right along here. I thought the last few weeks would drag, but that's not really true so far. We are staying fairly busy and engaged still, even though classes are over. Our team is all back together again after the Dragon Boat Festival, and I've managed to find a few students who are still around.

One student who is thankfully still around, is my special student and sister I always talk about. She is really going through some challenging times, especially ever since she became a sister. Her parents will not let her go to a local fellowship, so she is rather starved for like-minded Chinese. (In China, obeying your parents is extremely important). She can still study with me, however, and I try to bring fellow Chinese sisters whenever I can, so that she won't be entirely cut off from them. Perhaps you can think of our study today? She is still very passionate about him, but lately she doesn't seem to be growing very much.

Another huge issue was about her boyfriend. She was dating a guy who wasn't like-minded. Then when I saw her the other day, she was pretty upset. Apparently she had gone to eat dinner late one night with her boyfriend and two of his friends. They made her drink a lot, so she wasn't really in her right mind. She realized she had to get back to campus before the gate shut for the night, but her boyfriend and his friends didn't care and made her stay there. So she finally got very angry, stood up, and yelled at him in front of the whole restaurant that she wanted to go back to campus. (I can't really picture my tiny friend doing this, but I guess it happened).

After yelling at him, she ran outside to go home. He ran after her, and was also very angry. He yelled at her, and told her that she had caused him to "lose face" in front of his friends. (Losing or saving "face," and the issue of public shame is sometimes like life or death in China). He also told her she was too independent, because she usually did whatever she wanted and didn't care what he thought about it. (Heaven forbid!) So he broke up with her. She should have broken up with him a long time ago, but I'm relieved it happened, even if it was the other way around.

Now, a few days later, he feels sorry about it and wants to get back together. All her friends and family are encouraging and even pressuring her to date him again. (In China, girls still often aren't seen as valuable unless they have a guy). But she doesn't want to date him again.

After listening for a long time to her pouring out her heart, I asked her, "do you want me to say anything?" She nodded her head "yes." I don't remember exactly what I said, but I told her I didn't think that guy was respectful or honorable. He purposefully tried to get her drunk, so that she would say or do things she normally wouldn't. I basically told her it was a really rotten idea for them to get back together. Plus, her worth doesn't come from having a boyfriend. I reminded her that people are always going to fail us at one point or another, but He will never fail us, and He loves us unconditionally.

She just listened and shook her head in agreement. She didn't say much else, except she got little tears in her eyes and said, "Laura, you appeared in my life just when I needed it. You are the only one I can talk to. I can share my true heart with you." At this point I almost started crying, but then I had to tell her that it wasn't me. It was all Him. And she can always "share her true heart" with Him, day or night.

So I don't know yet how she's doing right now. I know that I can give her a little bit of advice and point her to Him, but she has to make the decisions for herself. I feel a little bit like a mother, because I want to protect her, but she has to learn and grow from her own life challenges.

Whew, what a long blog! Thanks for letting me share. Please remember to think of her. I think she could have a lot more peace in her heart and be a significant influence on this campus, if only she will totally trust Him with all areas of her life. It's certainly not easy to be a brother or sister in this country, that's for sure. Although the number of family members in him is exploding in China, there still is not near enough fellowships or training for them. Plus, they still face a lot of stigma from their families, friends, teachers, or people at work.

Thanks for your thoughts!

June time

I warmly welcome you to the month of June! How is your month so far? Surprisingly I haven't gone insane yet, since classes are over and most of my students have returned home.

However, we are managing to find a decent amount of activities to stay busy and productive. I'm back to practicing my Chinese again, and somehow I was able to use a dance studio on new campus, which is harder to make happen than it sounds.

Yesterday it poured all day long, but it was rather enjoyable. I pulled on my beautifully shiny yellow rain boots, and had a nice trek through many gigantic puddles and on incredibly wet and slippery city buses.

I hung out with a couple of my remaining students for a few hours. They are both wonderfully talkative girls. I felt pretty exhausted afterward, but then I went to one of our Chinese friend's birthday gathering. We visited her new room that she is renting in an apartment near new campus.

There are many pink-colored apartment buildings that have a very "lived-in" appearance. The land surrounding the apartments consist entirely of vegetable gardens, women wash their clothes outside, and chickens and children run around all over the place. (See pictures).

Our friend shares a room and a twin bed with her roommate. It's extremely small. It seems like a good majority of students also have this arrangement, because it's a lot more inexpensive this way, and privacy isn't a part of the culture. The apartment itself was rather spiritually dark and creepy. One of the women who lives there plays music of Buddhist monks chanting and the smell of incense was almost overwhelming. Apparently this goes on all day and night.

Life's never dull here even on the dullest of days.

P.S. Tomorrow's a momentous anniversary of something that happened in China. (You can figure it out). Nobody talks about it here. But many websites have indeed been blocked, apparently just in case somebody does talk about it. Like I said, life is never dull.

Have yourself a merry little Dragon Boat Festival

Wow, have I ever gone longer than four days without updating this blog? I don't know. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting--I hope you weren't waiting on pins and needles to read the next chapter in this continuing saga. So here I am again, but unfortunately there isn't anything life-changing to write about.

It is Dragon Boat Festival weekend. It's another official Chinese holiday, where everybody goes home, eats special food, and shoots off fireworks. The holiday is supposed to celebrate a "heroic" man in ancient times who tried to keep China from being invaded. But he was unsuccessful and drowned himself. For some reason this doesn't make me very excited, but maybe that's because I'm not Chinese.

Most of our team went to Beijing, but I didn't feel like it, since we'll be traveling there in just a few short weeks. Nanchang was turned upside down again, with the usual holiday chaos of everybody going everywhere at once. When I got on the city bus leaving school on Wednesday afternoon, it was so crowded that the bus driver kept jamming the stick shift into my knee cap. It was the first time I really thought I might suffocate or get my kneecap dislocated on a bus. And the buses were so packed, that people were really desperate to get on, but the buses weren't stopping. From my view hovering next to/over the bus driver, I saw one guy literally jump in front of the bus to make it stop. The bus stopped all right, but it didn't open the doors.

Life sort of seems in limbo lately, since classes are over, but we don't return to the States for another month. The past few days have been pleasant, though. Jodi and I had a great Friday with some of our special sisters and friends. We played outside, took ridiculous pictures at a picture studio for a mere 10 kuai, and made some awesome dumplings from scratch (see pictures). Then we watched a fun, girly movie.

Today I realized that I haven't seen my family in over 9 months!!!!!! And now we're spread out over three continents, since Andrea's in northern Africa and I'm in southern China.

Well, that's all for now. Have a great last day of May!

Presently pondering

(With my students today. One picture of many of my students)

(Recognize him? If you don't know him, he's Mao. He looks down at us during every class).

Since I haven't written for a few days, some events have piled up on me. But I'll try to be brief and as to-the-point with these musings as possible, although it's never very possible.

On Saturday we had another gathering time with fellow Chinese sisters. There were about 24 of us, which was really encouraging and amazing! We sipped tea, shared stories, and lifted up thoughts for each other. We also sang songs to him in both English and Chinese. About 10 of the Chinese girls at one point clustered around to sing a song to him. One girl pulled out a very thin and well-worn piece of paper, which had the words lovingly scribbled on it. They all sang from that solitary piece of paper.

Saturday night we also went to a gigantic dance party at another university for two people in our fellowship who are getting married. It looked like a 1980s high school prom. We danced with hundreds of Chinese students for about 3 hours straight. It was so crazy, and such great exercise.

In other news, school has quickly and suddenly come to a close. I have been giving final exams this week, and I really only have to go to school for one more day. I'm not sure what I'll do with myself for another month. I guess I'll just hang out with friends and students who are still around.

For the final I asked them interesting questions, such as "what was the scariest experience of your life?" I heard numerous stories of parents dying, siblings dying, having no food to eat, floods washing away their villages, witnessing people get decapitated in traffic accidents, getting bitten by snakes while working in the rice paddies, and even getting kidnapped! What crazy, sometimes very tragic lives these dear students have had!

Then after giving them their finals, I asked my students to ponder these two questions: "What is the most important thing you have learned in this class?" and "How have you changed as a person this year?" Here is an excerpt of their sentimental, wonderful answers that made me laugh and almost cry. It is satisfying to know, that despite many struggles, I can look back on everything and know that it was "job well done."

"I had become more ripe. Last year when I come home they say 'You just like a real man now.'" (From the shyest boy in all my classes. When he took a picture with me, I was surprised to know that he's taller than I am! He was always so hunched over, that I thought he was only about five feet tall).

"Sometimes I was shy and nervous when I answered your questions, but I looked you directly in you eyes. Suddenly I become brave. Thank you for doing your best to teach us."
"In other classes, I dare not speak loudly because I'm afraid of losing face and being blamed by teachers for my poor pronunciation. However, in this class I can speak as much as I like, nobody laugh at me, including the teacher. What's more, Miss Laura often encourage us to speak. So I think this class is very good."

"The most important thing that I learned is we should share our views, respect each other if a people express his own opinions, and keep quiet to listen."

"...Miss Laura is very beautiful and friendly. She regard us as her friends."
"May I'm not stand out in the class, but I like your class and respect you so much. So I'll say 'thank you!' to you!"

"...Sometime I wish everyday can listen Miss Laura's lessons. I already like Oral English very much."

"Each class Miss Laura taught us do exercise. I very liked because in my life no teacher had taught us do exercise in their class. So I am very thankful Laura teacher." (I'm not exactly sure what she's talking about, but I think the "exercise" is when I made the students stand up and stretch every class after the ten minute break, because they all looked extremely tired.)

"I think I become more confident and braver. Once I was a shy boy and daren't speak in public. Now, I found I can speak in the front of small group of people. Although my face will turn read, but I believe I'll become more and more confident."

"In the class, I am relaxed. I can speak out my opinion. Everybody can do it. The most important is, you never said what we said was right or wrong, but just encourage us to show our opinions."

"Before I went to here, I felt very sad, I stayed at home all day long, I dare not went out because 3 of my friends can learning in famous university but I can't. When I went here I felt very happy. I have learned my America English teacher. She is very good."

Well, my dear baby students, you made this year the most interesting and rewarding of my short life thus far.