A Day Redeemed

On Saturday I woke up feeling inexplicably tired and annoyed. How can I wake up and feel annoyed? I don't know, but I sure did. Everything was annoying--my oatmeal even annoyed me while I was cooking it.

After breakfast I realized I couldn't continue the day this way. So before my day could progress any further, I made sure to spend some quality time with the Father. I just really didn't want to spend the weekend feeling this way.

I didn't feel better immediately, but a couple girls came over for our Word study at 10 a.m. I willed myself to be attentive and interested and caring. Then I think the Father did the rest, because my irritation and dark mood eventually melted away.

After our study we went out the back gate to eat noodles together. We had a great time slurping hot soup in the freezing restaurant while sitting on little peg stools.

Then in the afternoon I diligently worked on Christmas lesson plans for two hours. After that, three of Jodi's students (my old students), Sweet, John, and Johnson came over to our apartment from new campus. Together we rode bicycles a little ways away to a deaf kindergarten.

We played games and just held the most precious little Chinese children. My Chinese is actually improving, but it didn't really matter because they couldn't hear us. So we just hugged them and played with them. There was one little boy who attached himself to me. He held me and stroked my hands with his little wind-chapped hands, coughing on me the whole time.

I think the Father has a great sense of humor. He knows that my worst nightmare in China is getting sick. I'm honestly more sick than I am healthy. I'm finally recovering from a cold I've had the past two weeks, and he sends me this sweet, but very sick and contagious little boy to crawl all over me. :)

Then at night we had another open house with Jodi's students. Twenty girls came over to play games and eat snacks. Two disabled girls who were my students last year even made the long trek to our apartment for this special occasion. They wouldn't miss it for the world.

So this weekend has been very blessed. The day was redeemed even better than I could have hoped. I'm leaving you with a few pictures of us at the little kindergarten.

Bats and Love are in the Air

Some of my favorite moments come in the classroom. This week has been pretty wonderful. I just felt like I was quite more alive than usual. I also felt like He gave me love for my students that was practically spilling out of me.

Although it has been about 40 degrees, students love to leave the windows open for "fresh air." Chinese people are very hearty, I've decided. They are small, but extremely hearty. You have to be hearty to live in dorms 8 people to a room, to work at jobs for 2 dollars a day, and to stand in rice paddies hours on end. And I'd like to think that I'm growing heartier too--maybe the constant chilly temperatures, the unique germs, and constant chaos that China offers have given me thicker skin.

On Tuesday during one of my classes, the windows were open like usual. I was standing in front of the podium teaching when I saw something fly into the classroom. I thought it was a bird, but we all quickly realized it was a very frenzied bat. My students weren't phased by it. I even managed to stifle the scream that I was about to let loose. I simply sat down with my students and we watched patiently as it circled crazily around our heads for several minutes. It finally decided not to eat us, and flew back out the windows.

So my students learned the English word for "bat." Jiangxi has a lot of bats (maybe because we're surrounded by damp, mythical mountains). In warmer weather at dusk, you can see swarms of bats around our buildings as they're eating mosquitoes.

Anyways, then at the break halfway during the two-hour class, I noticed a dead mouse at the doorway. Again, the students were very matter-of-fact. One of the boys quietly took a dustpan and broom and swept it off the floor. Nobody even said a word. Apparently "fighting mouses" (in their words), is a daily occurrence in their dormitories.

And now for an update about a love story which I introduced to you last month. Do you remember the cute students in one of my classes, Echo and Armstrong? Well, they are now a couple, and the cutest one ever. Someday I'll provide photographic evidence of this. They both sit at the front of my class, and I like to chat with them during the break, especially because they both have such good English. Today I finally asked them, "So...are you together now?" Echo buried her face in her arms, and Armstrong whispered happily, "Yes!" I asked how they knew they liked each other and Armstrong stated, "We knew when we looked in each other's eyes." I nodded encouragingly. They are the most innocent, cutest people ever--how cannot I not be happy for them?

Then I recalled that Armstrong had asked to be in this class in the first place because there was only one other boy, Jack, in the class. Armstrong had claimed he wanted to keep Jack company. So today, when I was talking to Armstrong in the front row, I looked at Jack sitting entirely all forlorn about 8 rows back. Jack was just staring at the ceiling and whistling to himself. I knowingly said to Armstrong, "I knew that you didn't come to this class for Jack. Look at him all alone!" He just said, "I know! I'm sorry. It was for Echo." All I could do was smile. I think I like to tease my students too much.

Another funny story was the recent issue of our university's newspaper. There was a story printed about Joelle, our team leader from last year, who is a team leader again for the other new team at this school. Somebody had translated the story from Chinese. Just about everything had been completely fabricated. Joelle was painted as an absolute angel (which she is), but all made up. My favorite part was where they said she had donated 400cc of blood at a blood drive, and donated 500 kuai to the Sichuan earthquake victims. She had never done any of those things.

So those are a few random stories from the past few days. Oh, China!

In their words

Once in a while I give my students the opportunity for a "free write." For about 15 minutes I'll let them write about whatever is on their minds. They always make me smile. They usually talk about how tired they are, how terrible H1N1 is, or driving school. Students at our university must learn to drive a stick-shift car. Most of them will never have a car, so they often think it is a waste of time and money. They also must practice at ridiculous times of the day like at 5 a.m. or 10 p.m. for two months. Sometimes you can see dozens of them practicing their driving around the school. They are all lurching forward and going as slowly as a snail in the school's old cars. It's pretty entertaining.

Anyways, here are some excerpts. Some are amusing, while others are extremely serious and sweet:

"Hi, Miss Luara. Do you have a cold? I guess, "Yes." Recently, the weather likes baby's face, you should keeping warm, eating more hot water..."

"Laura is a fantastic oral English teacher. She has cute blue eyes and she is very tall. She is a kind person and always want to improve our oral English..."

"In the past few days, I attend driving course. At first, I am excited and nervous. I can't hold the wheel well, I always go the wrong way. The coach criticize me resolutely, he said in a serious tone: "You are the worst." I am so sad, but I never give up. I'm not the worst!"

"These days I'm learning driving course in Blue Sky Automobile Driving School. I think it is very easy for me at first, but now it's more difficult than my imagination..."

"My driving coach is a serious man. He is strict to us and can't stand any faults. Once you make a mistake he will critisize at you in a very loud voice. Among all the coaches he is outstanding for his voice. And during the training time I made a name for myself by being critisized by my coach. I think everyone knows me now..."

"I have a best friend, and we got on well with each other very well, and we never brawling. But in several days ago, she suddenly told me she was ill, and it was a terrible disease. And if she didn't have a operation in time she will lose her life. My tears was seized with a sudden impulse when I heared her words. I'm so afraid and anxious about it. I'm afraid that my best friend will disappeared. And she will perform an operation in tomorrow. If the operation can't succeed, her face won't be complete. A complete and perfect face is very important for a girl. If she lose her perfect face, I don't know how she can face with it. She is still my best friend and I won't dislike and avoid her even though she is fragmentary. As a friend I hope I can give her strength."

And lastly, I received a little note from the student whose mother died recently. I had written him a note letting him know that we had all been thinking of him. Today I got this in reply:

"Hi, Miss Laura, First thanks for writing me a letter. I was so surprised when I getting it from your hand, it would be the most important present for me, don't worry I was okay, it just I couldn't adapt to the condition of the school. Second, let me say 'sorry' to you, because I had have being absent many of your class, but I wanna made you know I respected you. You are my teacher and friend. Please help me say 'thank you' to Miss Jodi, told her I thought she is kind person. To be your student and friend is my glory."

So that was a little glimpse of my student's lives and thoughts. Thanks for always thinking of them! They are some of the most precious people in the world.

Being a Celebrity

Recently some friends from our organization who teach in northern China wrote an amazing song called, "Celebrity." It was so funny, because it was so true. Coming to China as a white foreigner means you're an instant celebrity. Everyone wants to take your picture, say "hello," and practice their English with you just about every second of the day. I would have thought I had adjusted to this life by now, but it is still one of the most amusing and challenging aspects of living here.

No matter how much I want to blend in and be "Chinese," I can't. I am and will always be the "laowai" (old outsider), "waigoren" (foreigner), or "waijiao" (foreign teacher). I hear people calling me those three different versions at least several times every day. Everyone stares at me and the other foreign teachers on our team. The whiter and taller you are, and lighter eyes you have, the more stares you attract. So I win! :)

Being a foreigner in China can afford you lots of privileges. If I wanted, I could get away with most anything, because I can claim I don't understand or I'm not Chinese. Anything I do, no matter how lame, is thought of as amazing and talented by everybody. And in China I'm considered pretty beautiful. ;)

But it also has disadvantages. I'd love for people to talk to me not because I'm a strange-looking person, but because I'm a cool and interesting person on the inside. I'd love to be able to walk outside without people shouting at me. I'd love to go shopping without attracting crowds of onlookers. I'd love to cross the street without causing traffic to nearly careen off the side of the road. I'd love to walk around without people literally stopping in their tracks to gape.

Sometimes it starts to wear on me. When they holler, "Laowai! Laowai!" (Outsider!) I want to respond, "Ni shi laowai!" (You're an outsider!) Or I want to stare right back at them until they look away. Or I want to say, "Yes, I can understand what you're saying in Chinese about me!" Sometimes I have actually said or done these things, but usually the Father reminds me to respond with love and graciousness.

The other day I was having a particularly severe case of feeling like I was in a zoo being examined, and started thinking rather bitter thoughts in my head. But then the Father sent an albino my way. There is an albino on my campus and he crossed my path right then and there. He can never blend in anywhere, yet he isn't moping around. It was very humbling.

Several hours later, the same bitter thoughts began again as people snapped pictures of me outside. But then the Father sent a one-legged student my way. He also doesn't fit in with the rest of Chinese society, but he doesn't complain. Again, it was quite humbling!

I think being a foreigner in China is so much more unique than being a foreigner in every other country in the world. China, with its population of 1.4 billion people, was literally sealed off from the rest of the world until just the last 30 years. It is also certainly not a place for many immigrants, so non-Chinese stand out. It's not even close to being a melting pot like America or many other countries.

And where I live is not even close to being a tourist attraction. The only few other foreigners you see here once in a great while are usually older European couples adopting a poor Chinese baby. Many of the students at our school are from the villages in this province and have never seen a foreigner until they set eyes on us. No wonder they look a little shocked. Sometimes I wished they didn't look quite so shocked. Even children are often afraid of us.

Well, that is a little snapshot of what it is like to be a foreigner in inland China. Maybe it will be different soon as China continues to develop and open up to the rest of the world. For now, it is just a daily struggle for me to stop thinking about how I'm a reluctant celebrity. People are going to still be fascinated with my exotic self, so I need to just try to reflect His light. I want people to look at me not because of the glow of my white skin, but from the glow of His light shining through me in a dark place.

Welcome, December

It is almost Shi Er Yue (December)! Last time I wrote how blessed Thanksgiving Day was. Then the next few days after that have just been rather strange. I'm glad for a new month in just a few hours!

Not too much has been happening. Students are wonderful and life is okay. I have a cold, but it's not too bad. It has been cloudy and my head feels like it is in the clouds. Everything is fuzzy and in slow-motion.

Can you please think of me? Lately I'm just feeling sad and disconnected from life. I'm always around people and doing different activities, but I'm just feeling alone. I really miss my family and familiar things. I know He is still close, though...

Here are a couple pictures from open house this past weekend. For one of the pictures we were pretending to be models. I thought they did a pretty good job looking model-y. :)

A Chinese Thanksgiving

It is the day after Thanksgiving as I'm writing this blog. We are having a potluck dinner for some Chinese English teachers and our neighbors tonight. The power has gone off for the second time today. This time it hasn't been on for a couple of hours. Our potluck starts in an hour. We aren't quite sure how we'll be able to cook anything...

Anyways, celebrating Thanksgiving in China provides me with plenty to be thankful for. We still had to teach all day on Thanksgiving, but I think I preferred that. I got to be with my sweet students and the weather was beautiful. The day couldn't have been any more blessed.

For lunch I ate with my old student and dear friend who became a sister last year. We went and had a big lunch just the two of us. We ate Chinese dishes of green vegetables, potato slices with fried pork, and bananas. It was a very traditional Thanksgiving meal! She wouldn't let me pay for it and she shared some words that about made both of us cry. She told me, "Thank you for being my friend and not giving up on me. Now I'm so happy and peaceful, because I have the Father in my heart." I'm also so thankful for her! Besides Jodi, she is my closest friend here, and she has taught me a lot about life and the Father.

Throughout the day I also received countless messages with the following saying from different students:

"I open my pocket, find no coin; I open my purse, find no money; then I open my life, I find you! Then I know how rich I am! Happy Thanksgiving!"

I remember receiving that message last year on various occasions. I really don't know where they find it... Maybe there is a website for sappy sayings to send your English teacher? I told Jodi I would say that in a toast at her wedding. We are both so fond of it now.

In other news, I've been hanging out with Chinese sisters who have incredibly strong faith. It is not easy to be a Chinese believer here, especially a leader of a fellowship or study. First of all it's terribly difficult to find copies of the Word for the amount of people who want one. There is one place to buy the Word in this city of 4 million people. There is a "bookstore" about the size of a broom closet, which is attached to the one government fellowship. Sometimes they are open and you can find a few copies of the Word or none at all. It's closed more often than it's open, though.

Then I also know some people who are such leaders for Him that they are being monitored about every second of the day. Many other brothers and sisters are also ostracized by classmates, teachers, parents, or employers. And people are still coming to know Him in droves! It really puts my life and faith into perspective.

Now I'm leaving you with one picture from class. Some of my students drew "turkey hands" on the board with things they were thankful for. I'm thankful for them and you!

Large Mass Gatherings

I think I'm becoming more Chinese because I frequently attend large mass gatherings and am actually rather addicted to them. For example, the closing ceremony for this year's sports meeting was this afternoon. We were urged not to attend because of fears about H1N1, but Jodi and I couldn't resist. Last year it was one of the highlights of my year. The pageantry, long speeches, lots of marching, crazy performances, and crowds of thousands of people excite me. I also enjoy seeing my students, boys and girls alike, in shiny costumes.

Enjoy some of the pictures from today! Your assignment is to find me in the crowds.