Resolutions

Happy 2011, dear friends!

Do you want to read a book that will change your life? This is my second time reading "Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream," by David Platt. He was the "youngest megachurch pastor in history" when he realized much of American Christianity has manipulated the Gospel in order to fit our cultural preferences. I'm sure I mentioned it this summer, but really, truly you should read it!

Hanging around my Chinese friends and my mom and sister who have such strong faith, I realized that I'm already slipping into apathy and a lukewarm walk with Him. I don't want to be that way. I want to be radical and living my life in complete devotion to Christ.

Here are some interesting sneak peeks from the book, which has helped me re-think my faith, especially as I continue to live in America:

"We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves."

"We are afraid that if we stop and really look at God in his Word, we might discover that he evokes greater awe and demands deeper worship than we are ready to give him."

"The goal of the American dream is to make much of us, the goal of the Gospel is to make much of God."

"Jesus commands us to go. He has created each of us to take the Gospel to the ends of the earth, and I propose that anything less than radical devotion to this purpose is unbiblical Christianity."

"We will multiply the Gospel only when we allow others to get close enough to us to see the life of Christ in action."

"Jesus beckons each of us to plainly, humbly, and quietly focus our lives on people."

I could go on and on... But you'll just have to read it for yourself. :) So in this New Year, I only have one resolution. I was thinking about how I would resolve to exercise more, study Chinese more, love more, etc. etc. But everything will fall into place if I focus on God and pray that the desires of His heart will be the desires of my heart. What are your New Year's resolutions?

Holiday reflecting

I'm alone. All four of my little sisters have left, and Mom is being productive at work. Today our last Chinese friend, Wei Wei, made her exodus from Topeka. Mom's two Chinese daughters, Mandy and Maggie, left for California a few days ago to travel. Andrea somehow is in Chattanooga, Tennessee. She will be there the rest of this week for a Campus Outreach conference.

When I first arrived home for Christmas break, I was really thankful to be celebrating the holidays with my family. But that quickly gave way to cynicism. In China I wasn't with my family for Christmas, and you wouldn't have noticed it was Christmas just looking around.

Christmas there meant telling your hundreds of eager students about the true meaning of the season. It meant performing ridiculous, but fun dances in front of a school audience of thousands who would cheer even if you just stood there. It meant a lot of rain and no snow. It meant having small parties for your closest friends and students. It meant creating new memories and new traditions. It meant that Christmas wasn't focused on giving presents, but reveling in the gift of friendship and the birth of a Savior who was actually from the East and not the West.

So Christmas in America was at first exciting, but it got old quickly. People just looked stressed and burdened. There was cheer in the air, but most of it felt false and forced. The stores were packed. I tried to avoid shopping, but sometimes I'd find myself in Target mostly just staring at the mayhem, rather than buying anything. People at church looked tired and antsy at the same time.

But thank the Lord for my new Chinese sisters who stayed with us. I was trying to love them, but they certainly showed me love. They reminded me yet again of what Christmas is truly about. Sure, it was exciting seeing them decorating the tree or opening their stockings on Christmas morning--all things they had never experienced before--but it was even better just being with them and spending time with them. I tried to be a good elder sister, and learned to respond to "Jie Jie" (older sister) instead of "Laura." My name's hard to say for Chinese people anyway.

We did sisterly things like putting on eyeshadow and watching dumb, girly movies. I even walked inside "Victoria's Secret" for the first time in my life...and then I walked promptly out with the word "scandalous" swirling around in my head. We talked about boys, and of course they are eternally concerned that I don't have a boyfriend at my advanced age of 24. But there were plenty of times for solid conversations, awesome meals with other friends, and going to church together.

Now I have to figure out what to do with my life for the next week. Maybe I'll think of some New Year's resolutions, which I'll share in my next blog. Now I'm leaving you with some of my favorite pictures from the past couple of weeks...


Big happy family making jiaozi.


We ate awesome, authentic Chinese food just about every day.


With my original baby sister.


Waiting to open stockings on Christmas morning.

Christmasing

Hello, faithful readers! I'm in a dream-- somehow I've found myself in my little room at home on the Kansas prairie. To be honest, I haven't wanted to come back to Topeka. Of course I want to see my family in my first Christmas with them since 2007, but I don't get excited about my hometown. I actually sort of dread coming back to this place. Topeka is safe, dreary, and depressing, to be honest. Things are also different, since the last time I spent Christmas here. My dear, sweet Grandma's gone, people are out of work, and I've seen and done a lot since then...

But on the positive side, there's so many things to be thankful for. First of all, by God's grace, I finished my first semester of grad school! I even got good enough grades to keep my scholarship, which means I'll continue on with my degree. I also did some crazy things to celebrate, like sledding down amazingly steep Indiana hills, which Kansas sure doesn't have. Then Andrea came up from Florida for a couple of days, and we got to walk through the snow and have a grand old sisterly time together. Then we drove the 10 hour-long drive home, with a stop at the Kansas City airport to pick up Andrea's Chinese classmate, Sarah.

In a couple of days two more Chinese students, Mandy and Maggie, will also be joining us. They have become two of my Mom's "daughters." So I love how it is my first American Christmas in a while, but it will still be very Chinese! Please think of all of these dear girls. We've already had some great conversations with Sarah. Sarah doesn't know about the Son, but she is already open. She is my "Mei Mei," or younger sister and has quickly become a part of our family.

I'm just incredibly thankful that Mom and Andrea thought of inviting these girls into our home. This is the first Christmas for all of them, and Andrea thought it would be so neat to share the love of Christ with them by inviting them into our family. And another cool thing about Sarah is that she is an exchange student from Harbin Engineering University, where my former teammate and roommate from China, Jodi, is now teaching! What a small, small world.

I'm leaving you with a couple of pictures, but I'm sure I'll have more of my Chinese little sisters in the coming days. Have a blessed week!


My gorgeous, but freezing campus!


Campus/Narnia


Baby Andrea, the Floridian, in the snow


Reading by the toasty fireplace at school

Racing toward the finish

The title of this blog says I'm "racing toward the finish." More like crawling. Having final exams around Christmas time isn't the best plan. There's gorgeous snow outside, there are a million Christmas parties to go to, and there's tons of food to eat. I've started studying a bit, but have lost a lot of motivation.

It all started with ice-skating on Saturday. The graduate student association for our program has an annual ice-skating party. For only $2.50 we could skate and hang out. I picked up skating again pretty easily, although the poor Chinese people were the ones falling all over the place. It reminded me of roller skating with my baby students in China. About ten of them would hold on to me for dear life, because most of them just couldn't get the hang of skating, although that was their 100th time trying. It also reminded me of the last time when I went ice-skating. It was last winter in Xinjiang, the Siberia of China. I've never felt so cold.

Speaking of cold, think of my dear former teammate and roommate, Jodi. She's still serving in China in the northeastern city of Harbin. Currently the windchill is -41 degrees there. Brrr!!

It started snowing here on Saturday night. We only got a few inches, but we still got the blizzard conditions. Schools are closed today, and I'm once again holed up inside studying. I really can't go anywhere with the roads and -1 windchill and want to go crazy. The salt trucks keep coming down our tiny street, but the roads stay the same. All my friends are studying anyway, and I ought to be doing the same!

Yesterday, though, before the blowing snow started, I went to church. Then by evening, the crazy weather began. I went to hang out at my friends' house, because they have a fireplace. It was only a ten minute walk, but I was a bit afraid I'd fall into a snow drift. Everything was eerily quiet outside, and the wind was throwing sharp little pieces of snow in my face. It was nice to sit by a cozy fire then with my wonderful friends!

Okay, now I'm really going to start studying again and I'll leave you with some pictures. Stay warm and healthy!


InterVarsity Graduate-Faculty Ministry Christmas Party


Reading poetry by the fire


Vanessa's expressive reading of a Shel Silverstein poem


Getting ready to brave the weather again

Winter Fairyland

Out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my Ikea bed to see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
I threw open the curtains my Mom had lovingly made
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear?
But a miniature pick-up truck and eight tiny men shoveling a heck of a lot of snow...

I feel like I live in a winter fairyland, just like what they sing about in the millions of Christmas songs I've been listening to on the radio. I am quite excited for Christmas, or as least an American version. It's like I'm a little kid. I am, but even more so lately. Everything is magical.

On Saturday, we got several inches of gorgeous, sparkling snow. The woods behind our apartments were covered, deer played in the big, nearby field, and kids went sledding down the hills next to our neighborhood.

I begrudgingly finished all my homework so I could get on with the festive side of life. I merrily walked to the post office in the falling snow, smiling and thanking the people shoveling (another awesome reason to live in an apartment), and waving at the post people delivering mail in their tiny, boxy vehicles that weren't designed for snow. The last time I saw snowfall was in Xinjiang, China, where it was -30 degrees and they used pick-axes to clear the ice and snow on the roads... And I was less excited about the snow by Saturday night when it took me 20 minutes to dig it out of the snow that encased it.

After shedding some tears yesterday, I'm back on track. All of a sudden I felt incredibly homesick for China. I think it was sort of triggered when I was told I basically did a horrible job creating a newsletter at my job, and then when I was walking around in a daze in Target. Where did all of these gaudy Christmas decorations come from? If America's in such a terrible recession, why is everyone walking around with a pile of pointless junk in their carts? Why do people look so frazzled and anxious? And more importantly, why are people still wearing Uggs?

Well, I better get back to analyzing the Tuolumne hydroelectric project for economics. Hooray! Merry Christmas!


Some of the snow when I woke up.


Narnia at the back of our apartments.

Life Fast Forward

Hi again, folks. I know you must be surprised to hear from me again so soon. I have managed to turn in some pretty hefty assignments in the past few days, so I'm giving myself a tiny break for tonight before the crunch begins again.

A part of me wants this semester to be over now! But then I am reminded of how I love my classmates and life here. Life is also fleeting, and I can't always be wishing toward the future. I want to enjoy here and now, even if it is filled with lots of statistical software and economics case studies that threaten to drive me insane...

Besides, life is also filled with awesome people, an enjoyable job, gorgeous scenery, a great church, and so many other blessings and challenges. Last night I was leaving work at city hall in the dark at 7 p.m. It was snowing beautiful, fluffy snowflakes and had accumulated on the roofs and grass during the day. All of downtown, including city hall, was lit up with white lights and pretty wreaths. I finally had some decent boots on and was feeling rather cute and festive. I've been feeling worn out, but I am glad I can still thank God for little glimpses of heaven... except I probably won't be wearing a winter coat in heaven.

Speaking of winter coats, another thing I'm so thankful for right now is heat inside! I spent the past two, long winters decked out in multiple layers of long underwear and outerwear that I had to wear outside and inside. Remember my stories of getting chillblains on my fingers and having frozen, white toes in China? I want to practically shout for joy every time I go into a warm building here. Maybe I'll forget about that soon, but I'm still counting my blessings! We take so many things for granted here in America.

I'm also thankful for people. I have spent this semester in a small "cohort" of people. We were assigned to the cohort, and have all the same classes together. I've grown quite fond of them, and will be sad to have different classes without them next semester. I've learned a lot from them, and respect them a lot. Our last classes together are next week. The following week we have finals.

And even thought it's been freezing, I've been walking the 40 minute walk home from campus instead of taking the city bus. It has given me a lot of opportunities to clear my mind and freeze my face off. Today I was thinking about some things in American culture that changed since I was away:

What's new and didn't exist before I left for China:
-Twitter
-The recession
-Justin Bieber
-Lady Gaga
-The Obama administration
-The smart phone craze
-Leggings
-Sarah Palin

What's old and doesn't exist anymore:
-The "poof" hairstyle
-The Bush administration
-Mercury, Pontiac, and Saturn cars
-Jobs

What persists and I wish would go away:
-Uggs
-Fake tans
-The U.S. deficit
-Annoying politics
-Aforementioned leggings
-Sarah Palin

Thankfulness

On a crisp autumn afternoon last week, my dearest mother arrived on my doorstep in Bloomington! In between going to classes, Mom and I hung out, went on walks, visited my church, and talked a lot about everything under the sun. Then she and I drove the looooong way to Rochester, NY to visit our dear, dear grandparents! Andrea flew up from Florida, and we had ourselves a very pleasant, blessed Thanksgiving.

I haven't gotten to see my family much over the past few years, so every time I can see them is a time to thank the Father. And even though Andrea and I don't see each other much, we still say the same things and talk like twins. We just don't really look like twins. How can we be related?

Anyway, we got to cook, visit different places in Rochester, enjoy a bit of snow, and loved being with each other. It was also great to love and help serve and pamper our grandparents--especially Grandma, who works so hard!

I don't know what else to say, except it's sort of a let down to be back at school, still failing different quizzes, etc. But I'm trying to look forward to the awesome things and people God's put in my life here, too. I did sort of miss my classmates; they all had crazy Thanksgivings filled with events like getting engaged, going to tropical islands, and even getting into car wrecks... You might not hear much from me over the next 3 weeks with classes, papers, projects, and final exams coming to a climax.

Hope your Thanksgiving caused you to reflect on your many blessings!


Reunited with my baby sister.


Baby Andrea making an amazing apple pie from scratch! She has taken over the apple pie-making business from Grandpa-the best teacher!


Grandpa with chocolate that came all the way from Abilene, Kansas.


Sharing a laugh with the cutest grandma.


Hot chocolate weather.


Mama and Andrea.


An amazing gingerbread house at the Eastman House.