Living in the Second World

A while ago after a trip to the crazy local hospital, Joelle and I were trying to decide in which category China fit: Was it first world or third world? Then we came to the conclusion that it was most certainly second world. Some big cities, such as Beijing or Shanghai may be mostly first world, and some remote Chinese provinces may be third world, but we think our humble province falls into "second world" category.

This has been decided for a number of reasons. First, this place is still obviously developing. Many Chinese here talk of the day when this city and whole country will reach that stage of "developed," but for now it is still "developing." Kids go to the bathroom on the street, chickens and dogs freely run around on the "sidewalks," which may be concrete or may be dirt. You can go downtown and see some ritzy shopping places. Then you can turn a corner and see apartment buildings or little shacks literally falling apart. You can see some privileged people driving Buicks, but then the majority of people still ride rusty bicycles. There are people at the store buying a tiny washing machine, but then you pass women scrubbing their clothes in brackish pools of water in between dilapidated buildings. You see some kids rolling around in the dirt, half-naked, or being pushed in an ancient wicker chair stroller. Then you can go to the zoo and see the richest and most spoiled kids in the world. You can see apartment buildings surrounded by acres and acres of tiny vegetable gardens, where people grow their food. On the way to the other campus, you can see a lake which smells like rotten eggs, with more little farming plots built right up to the edge. You can pass a hotel with water buffalo grazing just beyond the doorstep. You can eat good food at a restaurant on tiny stools, where all the "clean" dishes don't ever get washed with soap. Or you can eat at countless vendors lining the street...

All these descriptions could probably go on and on forever. I guess the point is that China is a country full of contradictions. What is true for one city or province cannot be said of another city or province, because every situation is so unique. And what is said of one city or province one day maybe cannot be said the next day, since everything is changing at such a rapid speed. And, lastly, this communist country seems to have more different social classes than non-communist countries. There are some extremely rich and extremely poor people, and they all live side by side.

In other news, life continues to move right along here. I thought the last few weeks would drag, but that's not really true so far. We are staying fairly busy and engaged still, even though classes are over. Our team is all back together again after the Dragon Boat Festival, and I've managed to find a few students who are still around.

One student who is thankfully still around, is my special student and sister I always talk about. She is really going through some challenging times, especially ever since she became a sister. Her parents will not let her go to a local fellowship, so she is rather starved for like-minded Chinese. (In China, obeying your parents is extremely important). She can still study with me, however, and I try to bring fellow Chinese sisters whenever I can, so that she won't be entirely cut off from them. Perhaps you can think of our study today? She is still very passionate about him, but lately she doesn't seem to be growing very much.

Another huge issue was about her boyfriend. She was dating a guy who wasn't like-minded. Then when I saw her the other day, she was pretty upset. Apparently she had gone to eat dinner late one night with her boyfriend and two of his friends. They made her drink a lot, so she wasn't really in her right mind. She realized she had to get back to campus before the gate shut for the night, but her boyfriend and his friends didn't care and made her stay there. So she finally got very angry, stood up, and yelled at him in front of the whole restaurant that she wanted to go back to campus. (I can't really picture my tiny friend doing this, but I guess it happened).

After yelling at him, she ran outside to go home. He ran after her, and was also very angry. He yelled at her, and told her that she had caused him to "lose face" in front of his friends. (Losing or saving "face," and the issue of public shame is sometimes like life or death in China). He also told her she was too independent, because she usually did whatever she wanted and didn't care what he thought about it. (Heaven forbid!) So he broke up with her. She should have broken up with him a long time ago, but I'm relieved it happened, even if it was the other way around.

Now, a few days later, he feels sorry about it and wants to get back together. All her friends and family are encouraging and even pressuring her to date him again. (In China, girls still often aren't seen as valuable unless they have a guy). But she doesn't want to date him again.

After listening for a long time to her pouring out her heart, I asked her, "do you want me to say anything?" She nodded her head "yes." I don't remember exactly what I said, but I told her I didn't think that guy was respectful or honorable. He purposefully tried to get her drunk, so that she would say or do things she normally wouldn't. I basically told her it was a really rotten idea for them to get back together. Plus, her worth doesn't come from having a boyfriend. I reminded her that people are always going to fail us at one point or another, but He will never fail us, and He loves us unconditionally.

She just listened and shook her head in agreement. She didn't say much else, except she got little tears in her eyes and said, "Laura, you appeared in my life just when I needed it. You are the only one I can talk to. I can share my true heart with you." At this point I almost started crying, but then I had to tell her that it wasn't me. It was all Him. And she can always "share her true heart" with Him, day or night.

So I don't know yet how she's doing right now. I know that I can give her a little bit of advice and point her to Him, but she has to make the decisions for herself. I feel a little bit like a mother, because I want to protect her, but she has to learn and grow from her own life challenges.

Whew, what a long blog! Thanks for letting me share. Please remember to think of her. I think she could have a lot more peace in her heart and be a significant influence on this campus, if only she will totally trust Him with all areas of her life. It's certainly not easy to be a brother or sister in this country, that's for sure. Although the number of family members in him is exploding in China, there still is not near enough fellowships or training for them. Plus, they still face a lot of stigma from their families, friends, teachers, or people at work.

Thanks for your thoughts!

June time

I warmly welcome you to the month of June! How is your month so far? Surprisingly I haven't gone insane yet, since classes are over and most of my students have returned home.

However, we are managing to find a decent amount of activities to stay busy and productive. I'm back to practicing my Chinese again, and somehow I was able to use a dance studio on new campus, which is harder to make happen than it sounds.

Yesterday it poured all day long, but it was rather enjoyable. I pulled on my beautifully shiny yellow rain boots, and had a nice trek through many gigantic puddles and on incredibly wet and slippery city buses.

I hung out with a couple of my remaining students for a few hours. They are both wonderfully talkative girls. I felt pretty exhausted afterward, but then I went to one of our Chinese friend's birthday gathering. We visited her new room that she is renting in an apartment near new campus.

There are many pink-colored apartment buildings that have a very "lived-in" appearance. The land surrounding the apartments consist entirely of vegetable gardens, women wash their clothes outside, and chickens and children run around all over the place. (See pictures).

Our friend shares a room and a twin bed with her roommate. It's extremely small. It seems like a good majority of students also have this arrangement, because it's a lot more inexpensive this way, and privacy isn't a part of the culture. The apartment itself was rather spiritually dark and creepy. One of the women who lives there plays music of Buddhist monks chanting and the smell of incense was almost overwhelming. Apparently this goes on all day and night.

Life's never dull here even on the dullest of days.

P.S. Tomorrow's a momentous anniversary of something that happened in China. (You can figure it out). Nobody talks about it here. But many websites have indeed been blocked, apparently just in case somebody does talk about it. Like I said, life is never dull.

Have yourself a merry little Dragon Boat Festival

Wow, have I ever gone longer than four days without updating this blog? I don't know. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting--I hope you weren't waiting on pins and needles to read the next chapter in this continuing saga. So here I am again, but unfortunately there isn't anything life-changing to write about.

It is Dragon Boat Festival weekend. It's another official Chinese holiday, where everybody goes home, eats special food, and shoots off fireworks. The holiday is supposed to celebrate a "heroic" man in ancient times who tried to keep China from being invaded. But he was unsuccessful and drowned himself. For some reason this doesn't make me very excited, but maybe that's because I'm not Chinese.

Most of our team went to Beijing, but I didn't feel like it, since we'll be traveling there in just a few short weeks. Nanchang was turned upside down again, with the usual holiday chaos of everybody going everywhere at once. When I got on the city bus leaving school on Wednesday afternoon, it was so crowded that the bus driver kept jamming the stick shift into my knee cap. It was the first time I really thought I might suffocate or get my kneecap dislocated on a bus. And the buses were so packed, that people were really desperate to get on, but the buses weren't stopping. From my view hovering next to/over the bus driver, I saw one guy literally jump in front of the bus to make it stop. The bus stopped all right, but it didn't open the doors.

Life sort of seems in limbo lately, since classes are over, but we don't return to the States for another month. The past few days have been pleasant, though. Jodi and I had a great Friday with some of our special sisters and friends. We played outside, took ridiculous pictures at a picture studio for a mere 10 kuai, and made some awesome dumplings from scratch (see pictures). Then we watched a fun, girly movie.

Today I realized that I haven't seen my family in over 9 months!!!!!! And now we're spread out over three continents, since Andrea's in northern Africa and I'm in southern China.

Well, that's all for now. Have a great last day of May!

Presently pondering

(With my students today. One picture of many of my students)

(Recognize him? If you don't know him, he's Mao. He looks down at us during every class).

Since I haven't written for a few days, some events have piled up on me. But I'll try to be brief and as to-the-point with these musings as possible, although it's never very possible.

On Saturday we had another gathering time with fellow Chinese sisters. There were about 24 of us, which was really encouraging and amazing! We sipped tea, shared stories, and lifted up thoughts for each other. We also sang songs to him in both English and Chinese. About 10 of the Chinese girls at one point clustered around to sing a song to him. One girl pulled out a very thin and well-worn piece of paper, which had the words lovingly scribbled on it. They all sang from that solitary piece of paper.

Saturday night we also went to a gigantic dance party at another university for two people in our fellowship who are getting married. It looked like a 1980s high school prom. We danced with hundreds of Chinese students for about 3 hours straight. It was so crazy, and such great exercise.

In other news, school has quickly and suddenly come to a close. I have been giving final exams this week, and I really only have to go to school for one more day. I'm not sure what I'll do with myself for another month. I guess I'll just hang out with friends and students who are still around.

For the final I asked them interesting questions, such as "what was the scariest experience of your life?" I heard numerous stories of parents dying, siblings dying, having no food to eat, floods washing away their villages, witnessing people get decapitated in traffic accidents, getting bitten by snakes while working in the rice paddies, and even getting kidnapped! What crazy, sometimes very tragic lives these dear students have had!

Then after giving them their finals, I asked my students to ponder these two questions: "What is the most important thing you have learned in this class?" and "How have you changed as a person this year?" Here is an excerpt of their sentimental, wonderful answers that made me laugh and almost cry. It is satisfying to know, that despite many struggles, I can look back on everything and know that it was "job well done."

"I had become more ripe. Last year when I come home they say 'You just like a real man now.'" (From the shyest boy in all my classes. When he took a picture with me, I was surprised to know that he's taller than I am! He was always so hunched over, that I thought he was only about five feet tall).

"Sometimes I was shy and nervous when I answered your questions, but I looked you directly in you eyes. Suddenly I become brave. Thank you for doing your best to teach us."
"In other classes, I dare not speak loudly because I'm afraid of losing face and being blamed by teachers for my poor pronunciation. However, in this class I can speak as much as I like, nobody laugh at me, including the teacher. What's more, Miss Laura often encourage us to speak. So I think this class is very good."

"The most important thing that I learned is we should share our views, respect each other if a people express his own opinions, and keep quiet to listen."

"...Miss Laura is very beautiful and friendly. She regard us as her friends."
"May I'm not stand out in the class, but I like your class and respect you so much. So I'll say 'thank you!' to you!"

"...Sometime I wish everyday can listen Miss Laura's lessons. I already like Oral English very much."

"Each class Miss Laura taught us do exercise. I very liked because in my life no teacher had taught us do exercise in their class. So I am very thankful Laura teacher." (I'm not exactly sure what she's talking about, but I think the "exercise" is when I made the students stand up and stretch every class after the ten minute break, because they all looked extremely tired.)

"I think I become more confident and braver. Once I was a shy boy and daren't speak in public. Now, I found I can speak in the front of small group of people. Although my face will turn read, but I believe I'll become more and more confident."

"In the class, I am relaxed. I can speak out my opinion. Everybody can do it. The most important is, you never said what we said was right or wrong, but just encourage us to show our opinions."

"Before I went to here, I felt very sad, I stayed at home all day long, I dare not went out because 3 of my friends can learning in famous university but I can't. When I went here I felt very happy. I have learned my America English teacher. She is very good."

Well, my dear baby students, you made this year the most interesting and rewarding of my short life thus far.

Wish list

Before I started to write this blog, I sort of sat and stared at an advertisement at the top of my computer screen. It says "Memorial Day Sale" at Ace, the helpful place. Do I even remember what a hardware store is? I'm picturing the one at home. It always was sort of a comfortable place to go, usually with Mom. We'd get mulch, or paintbrushes, or light switch plate covers, or a room heater, or a hose. Everyone wore little red vests who worked there, and many of the customers wore coveralls or jeans and outdated shirts. And everyone spoke in that Kansas way of talking, and nobody ever seemed in a hurry.

Now why am I getting sentimental about Ace Hardware of all places? I'm sure when I eventually do see it again, I won't really care. But then it makes me start thinking of America in general. America seems like this very distant place that might or might not actually exist. I hear about it in the news, or from my students, or from my family through Skype. And now that I'll be back in America in just a little over a month, once and a while I think about what it's like there.

Anyway, I also sometimes think of America when I trek across the city to Metro, the German foreign goods store, about every four or five weeks. I usually don't get a whole lot--maybe some spaghetti sauce, salad dressing, raisins, or peanut butter. When I went recently, I splurged and bought a box of blueberry muffin mix. Yummmmmm...

So today I finally got around to making the mix after trying to collect the ingredients needed to bake it. I bought some eggs from the lady and her vegetable cart on the corner alley. I bought a little baggy of milk from a cardboard box in the tiny school store. And I had to put fish oil in place of vegetable oil, which doesn't exist, or is too difficult to find. A muffin tin doesn't fit in the toaster oven (real ovens are rare), so I made blueberry bread. Sometimes cooking food is more effort than it's worth, but this time I think it was worth it. :)

And I'm going to write about other things I'm looking forward to this July in America. I'm super excited to go to the gym (it is culturally unacceptable for girls to "work out" here), I will be even more excited to see shoes and clothes in my size and length (everything is made for tiny fairies here), I'm going to run and sit in the grass (if you find any grass here, usually it is more dirt than grass and other people are most likely sitting on it), I want to drink water out of the tap and not have to boil it (like most other countries in the world, you can't swallow the water from the faucet in China), I can't wait to chuck toilet paper down the toilet (if you throw paper into the toilets in China, it's a mini-disaster), I want to dry my clothes in a dryer (instead of line drying everything), I want to stand in a bathtub (instead of taking a shower in a "shoilet," which is taking a shower over the toilet), I think it might be nice to have some fresh food (instead of MSG, oil-saturated dishes), I can't wait to see the blue Kansas sky (you can't see the sky most days because of the buildings or clouds or pollution here), I can't wait to fully understand what people are talking about, I will be glad to really say or write what's on my mind, it will be nice to not be a celebrity for a couple months, and I can't wait to see and hug my family after so many months!!

Thanks for letting me share. It wasn't meant to be a complaint list; I think it was been good for me to live more like 90 percent of the world lives since September. And I have realized that America really is an exception. I'm just looking forward to a little rest.

Time to for me to go to English corner/everyone-talk-to-the-foreign-teachers-at-once place. See you next time!

Back in the blog business

Hi, friends and readers. I don't know where I've been. I've just been teaching and living and loving, like usual. And all of a sudden the end is looming on the horizon. Well, thankfully it's not really the end, but changes are coming.

My teammates and I are rushing to prepare our final exams for next week. Actually I'm not really rushing, but quietly and steadily preparing. Ever since I got to China, I sort of take things in little steps. I try not to make many plans (they'll change again, anyway), I don't have many ambitions at the moment (well, at least not beyond teaching and being with students and teammates), and I kind of just let the Big Guy do all the work.

It is a very strange feeling, because most of my life I've been planning, scheming, and striving. Now I just put one foot in front of the other, in a very contented sort of way. And you never, ever know what is around the corner here. But it's not scary or worrisome. At least I have never woken up even one day feeling bored or purposeless.

Now that I've been philosophical for a bit, I'll talk about some other news. The past couple of days we've been talking about "fears" and what we're afraid of in class. They are fearful of many things most people are afraid of: not getting a good job, never getting married, getting sick, losing a family member, etc. But there also are some fears thrown in there that I don't usually even consider. "Losing face" is huge in Chinese culture, which many of them mentioned. One boy seriously said that if he lost face he might as well die. Other students said how their biggest fears were realized when they failed the college entrance exam and had to come to this university. It was either attend this university or work in a factory. To many students both of those options seem nearly equally pointless.

After everyone was thoroughly depressed (well, not really), I asked them, "Okay, we've talked about things we are afraid of. Now how do you cope with your fears?" "Cope" was a new vocabulary word for the day. Many of them talked about listening to music, talking to their friends or parents, taking a walk, sleeping, or making themselves think positive thoughts. One class, which is the eternally curious class (and my favorite), then asked me, "How do you cope, Miss Laura?"

Well, dear little students, let me tell you. So I told them how naturally I'm a very scared person. I get scared of spiders, people, elevators, the future, etc. etc. I said that I sometimes take a walk or try to think positive thoughts also, in order to cope. But, I explained, the thing that helps me the absolute most is [thinking] to Him. This helps me the most--from little fears and decisions to big fear and decisions.

Later I told them that we should hang out in June, because I'll be at the university for another whole month, without teaching responsibilities. So I think my students and I will be planning many activities. Then I finally broke the news to them that I'm returning to this university next year. They started applauding like crazy. Oh, dear freshmen, nobody can replace your enthusiasm and innocence.

One of my Chinese friends today told me that there are now 2 cases of swine flu in this province. I'm not very alarmed, just like nothing really surprises me anymore. It's just not a good sign, I'm thinking, because now that flu will probably spread in about five minutes to 100,000 people. Soap and warm water are literally not used here. This country is quarantining people who arrive on international airplanes with no signs of the flu, but nobody is told that it is vital to at least wash your hands with soap and warm water. Basic prevention and hygiene is key.

But enough of my cynicism! It's time for me to get some dinner. Bye for now!

Can you read this?

Hi, faithful readers. I'm sorry I haven't been able to update my blog for a few days! Hopefully you can read this fine. When I got around to updating the blog, I found out that China has started blocking access to the blog website, as well as websites like YouTube (which has been blocked since March). So I managed to get this blog on here by going through a hidden server. I have to keep blogging or I'll go crazy!

So life is pretty challenging here lately. Usually it's a good kind of challenge, but sometimes a really frustrating kind of challenging. For example, I'm still meeting with my special student. Today she told me that her mom has forbidden her to go to fellowship. Her mom said that people who believed in him were crazy. Only "old women" did. So it's a big deal. Chinese rarely disobey their parents, but she still needs to and wants to go to fellowship with other local family members. Please think of her!

And today we were informed that we might be finished teaching within the next two weeks. Yesterday we were counting on teaching for another four weeks. So that means it's crunch time for final classes and finals. But they'll probably change the schedule yet again, so I'm not too worried.

Well, that's all for now! Have a splendid weekend!!