Laura's lessons

Why is it so much more difficult to write about America than China? Is it because China is so much crazier and colorful in comparison? Whatever the reason, I'm trying to find the color and life in America. I'm trying to see my native land in a fresh perspective. China has seemed more like my home than America in many ways; even though I was technically an "outsider" in China, I felt like I belonged there more than I ever did in the U.S.

So now I'm in America, trying to treat it like a new culture. I sort of feel like I've been living in a time warp, and the past 2 years were a dream. Many things happened while I was away, and I also have many things to relearn. For example:

-I should speak to people in English, not Chinese.
-I have to make my own food; I can't just dash out the door and eat a big plate of rice and vegetables for $1.
-I cannot attack every slightly Chinese-looking person in my eagerness.
-I cannot stare at all the rotund people.
-I cannot stare at all the black people.
-I cannot stare at all the white people.
-I cannot stare at all the Hispanic people.
-I cannot stare at the abundance of handsome guys.
-I do not have to hand the cashier my money with two hands.
-I can say "God."
-I should throw the toilet paper in the toilet, not the waste basket.
-I do not need to squeegee the floor after I take a shower.
-I should turn on the tap for water, and can drink as much water as I want.
-I should answer in a direct way, and not always say "maybe."
-I should stop saying, "Have a rest."
-I need to wear earplugs for the extreme quiet instead of for the early morning fireworks, moped alarms, singing, and basketball players.
-I should realize that the low height of American ceilings is normal; they will not fall on me.
-I shouldn't gape too much at the grocery store over the huge selection of perfect-looking fruit and meat.
-I must stay inside the lines when I'm driving.
-I'm not a celebrity anymore.

And lastly, I must remember that God's the same everywhere in the world, not matter if I'm in China or America. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I'm His child, and my identity isn't wrapped up in my citizenship or culture. I should continue to live every day in expectation and hope for the amazing ways He's working all around the world!

Hello, America!

Oh, where to start?? I'm living in a bit of a daze-- culture-wise and sleep-wise. Last night was my second night back in the U.S. after 10 months away. I fell asleep at 11:30 p.m., and woke up about every hour. I finally got up at 5:30, just in time to see the sun coming up.

So I guess I shall start at the beginning of my journey home. I ended up taking a grand total of 4 flights and a long car ride to get back to my hometown. First, of all, it was so apparent that people were thinking of me!! There were so many things that could have and probably should have gone wrong as I journeyed home, but everything went extremely well.

On Monday night (American time) I took the long bus ride to the Nanchang airport with Reborn, my best Chinese friend. There we said "farewell," and it was one of the most difficult partings I've ever made in my life. She gave me a sweet, sweet card.

Here are some words she wrote in her card, which makes me misty-eyed:

"The memory of you will in my mind. I can see you anywhere in college, because it seems we hang out anywhere in college it'll have our footmark..."

"You are the only one make me really really really happiness and not hurt my heart. You always encourage me, gave me confident."

"I anything no matter good or bad also when I'm unhappy. You are my bosom friend."

"Thanks [Father] brought you in my life and thank you brought [Father] to my life!"

And now I will dearly miss my "bosom friend" and all of my other friends.

So after reluctantly parting with one of the dearest friends I've ever had, I got on a Shanghai Airlines flight to... Shanghai, of course. I managed to get out of Nanchang before it apparently started flooding the next day. Leaving Nanchang was exhausting for me, so I didn't do a whole lot in Shanghai, which gave me my first dose of culture shock. I just walked around some neighborhoods and stayed overnight in a nice hotel.

The next day I took a taxi to another Shanghai airport and flew to Seoul. I was startled on that flight when a super eager Chinese girl my age sitting next to me started talking to me with an American accent. She said she had lived in America for a year, and now was returning to visit her boyfriend in Chicago. I was a little overwhelmed. She didn't seem Chinese to me. She was tall, very outspoken, politely criticized the Chinese government, and used the word "like" a lot. Then I became her best friend apparently. She insisted that I must visit her in Chicago!! Squeal! Giggle!

In the Seoul airport, the Chinese girl, "Jessie," hung out with me. It turned out that we were on the same flight to Chicago. Our flight left Seoul late, and then apparently battled a lot of head winds, so we arrived late to Chicago, 13 hours after we left.

When we arrived in Chicago, I thought it was basically impossible to be able to make my connecting flight to Kansas City. I had about an hour and a half before my next flight (the last flight to Kansas City that evening) departed, and I had to go through customs, pick up my checked bag, check in with a different airline in a very far away terminal, go through security again, and get to my gate.

I had about given up all hope when it took 45 minutes for my bag to arrive off our crowded flight. There was no possible way I'd make it. So I just took a deep breath, remembered to lift up my thoughts, and not to be anxious. Somehow, somehow, I breezed through everything after I had picked up my bag. It was like a dream.

And speaking of dreams, America is like a dream. On my flight to Kansas City, I was on a tiny plane. You couldn't even stand up straight in the aisle, or you'd hit your head. So as we were bobbing around in the late evening sky, I was amazed at how the Father has indeed shed His grace on this country. The air was crisp and clean; the land was extremely green and open; all the communities were tidy and organized. The sun was sliding well past the horizon at this point. The whole sky and land was the most beautiful color of gold and orange. My eyes were burning from the beauty and sleep deprivation.

So thank you for your many, many thoughts! I would like to continue to write on this blog, especially as I readjust to American culture.

Zai Jian!

It is Monday evening as I write this last blog from Nanchang! What a day, what a year, what a life! I was downstairs hanging out with some of the girls from the other team, and then four of my precious, popular guy students were hanging out with them. I finally started crying when I walked out the door. The last thing I saw was those four dear students, who are more like friends than students, standing there as I walked out the door. Their faces were sad, and for a second I realized that this was most likely the last time I'd ever see them on earth. I've come to love them, and so many of my other Chinese friends. I think it is finally starting to dawn on me that I'm actually leaving...

My wonderful teammate and roommate, Jodi, left this morning for America. I already miss her dearly. The rest of the day I packed, cleaned, said goodbye to my friends on the back street, and hung out with Reborn. Tomorrow I'll say goodbye to Reborn, because she's coming to the airport with me. Please lift this particular farewell up; it's probably going to be the most difficult and heart-wrenching.

So on Tuesday morning (China time), I leave for Shanghai. I'll stay there a night, and then fly out Wednesday afternoon through Seoul, Chicago, and then to Kansas City. It will be quite the trek for me. I'm used to traveling alone, but I still need thoughts for patience, wisdom, and safety. Thank you!!


Reborn's cross-stitch she made for me. It says: "I love Laura Frezee." She is scrunching her face up, because she thinks it looks like a 6 year-old made it. I don't care; I love it! :)

Living the true hug way

Wow, I feel so raw and strange. I never thought it would be so difficult to say good-bye to millions of Chinese friends. Today (Saturday) I had my last meals and class with students. For the last time, I took the crowded 220 bus on the dusty, bumpy roads to new campus. It was bittersweet. Then Jodi and I ate with her students/my old students, Nicl, Henry, and Brian. They are such wonderful, smart people. Henry and Brian gave us both some calligraphy they had done.

It was difficult saying goodbye to my last class of students. They have become so dear to me. I've done my best to encourage them, but often they are the ones who encourage me. I will miss all 190 of them so much! (Plus the other 100 or so other students I had last year). I've been giving them all hugs as we have parted ways, because I had taught them how to hug. How to hug was apparently the most important thing one particular student learned in my class: "Miss Laura teaches us about hug problem. We have a kinds of hug ways, she teaches us true hug way." I am leaving them with great, life-long skills!

After saying goodbye to my life at new campus, I walked with some of my students to their apartment 40 minutes away. We were basically in the countryside. Besides the heat, and the length of the walk, I enjoyed the scenery a lot. The city noises and sights faded away. People fishing and farming appeared suddenly, and it was a lot quieter and greener. While there were some new apartments, like where my students live, there was still a definite village and countryside feeling.

We went to their apartment, where the students sleep two to a bed. The apartment, however, was very nice by Chinese standards. We just stopped by to see it, and then trudged the long way back to the main road. I got all of them on the correct bus to go to old campus with me. They were so surprised that Miss Laura knows her way around Nanchang after 2 years, even though it seems like a piece of cake to me now. Sometimes they are surprised that I can use chopsticks. Apparently they assume their foreign teacher lacks brains and common sense! :)

Then I treated them to some dinner near old campus. I was about crying at this point, probably because I was tired and overwhelmed. I also felt homesick. This is my home, and I feel like in just a few days my life is going to be turned upside down. I'm not sure if I'm ready!

Here are some more cute words my students wrote in their free writes on the last day of class:

"I feel Lauar was so brave. I'm so proud of you."

"My sister have a baby in her body. So I go there to help her."

"Thank you for your care about my hands." (A long time ago I had given her gloves, because her hands were scabbed over with chilblains).

"The future resembles the brocade."

"I will eager beaver in the future. I love my classmates. I love Miss Laura."

"Miss Laura, if you get married, would you put your pictures on the Internet in your email? I really want to see the happiness moment when you are dressing the weeding cloth."

"In your class I learned about braving with anything. You often gave me many choices to practise my English."

"You always tell us should be creative, and it helps streatch our thought and explore our intelligence, I will remember it and try my best exert it. Thank you for broaden our minds!"


Henry and Brian and their calligraphy gifts.


My students and a housewarming gift I gave them, which my Mom had made.


View from the window of my students' apartment.


Stairwell shot.

Raining in my heart

It's been a rough and emotional couple of days, saying farewells to a couple of my classes. I still have more classes on Friday and Saturday to complete. One of the most difficult moments was Wednesday when I had to say good-bye to Business English Class 3, which I have taught for the past 2 years. Last year, I dreaded going to that class, because I feel like we didn't connect, and they didn't care. I guess the Father knew that I wasn't finished with that class, because I was given that class once again this year, as well as 3 other new classes.

This year I looked forward to their class. The Father really taught me how to love them and care for them and encourage them. I didn't give up on them. And they turned out to be the most spiritually interested class out of all of them. I grew very close to several of them, like Angel, Rain, Talent, and Jackson.

During class they did a "free write" where they could write about whatever they wanted. A lot of them wrote about their feelings at not having me as a teacher anymore. They wrote some really sweet things:

The most important thing in your class I have learned is how to love others.

We are so lucky that we can be your students. I'm so grateful that you can teach the [Word]. In [the Word], I have learned so many things that I don't know ever before.

The important thing I learned is don't be selfish. You should contribute your love to everywhere.

I will always remember the colourful two years you give me.

You are a special teacher in my life. You are in my brain forever!

You taught me to be a person.

Miss Laura, though you stare at me now, you'll see a girl you can't tell whether she is happy, sad or not. In fact she is depressed, it's raining in her heart, in her classmate's hearts. Whatever happened, please don't forget in China you own a special wealth--a group of sincere, lovely guys, they love you!

I wish time could stop running at this moment because Miss Laura will leave for American, and we may say goodbye and can't see each other forever. We love you so much.

Weep, weep. I actually did weep in class. Well, I didn't exactly weep, but I shed a few tears and could barely talk towards the end of class. I didn't think I would cry, because I'm not a very outwardly emotional person, but it was bound to happen. At the end of class I said I wanted to encourage them with a few last words. I told them how proud of them I am, how they helped me feel at home in China, and all the wonderful memories we've shared. I also told them that I know they can be successful, even though they live in a very challenging place and time.

At this point, I couldn't talk very much, because I had tears swimming in my eyes. Then I got even more teary-eyed when I looked at several of my students who were also red-eyed and crying. Jackson piped up, "Don't be sad, Miss Laura!" I said that I wasn't sad; just so happy to have known and taught them. Later Talent said he was "crying in his mind." :)

Some of them gave me really precious gifts that I will treasure forever. Angel quietly gave me a blue wood and paper fan, which is so pretty. After class Talent said he didn't have anything amazing to give me, but had something that was so special to him, and he wanted me to have it, because it was from his heart. He gave me a little "lucky" golden card that was very simple and communist-y. It had a portrait of Mao Zedong etched on the front. He had bought it two years ago on his first train ride to Nanchang to attend college at Blue Sky, and has kept it ever since. I was so deeply touched.

How can I leave my little baby students? Hopefully it's not good-bye--just see you later!


Students diligently working on their "free writes."


Cheerful Jackson always sits in the front.


Students working under the watchful gaze of Mao.


Some of my dear students.


One class gave me a giant t-shirt, which they all signed.

Final sprint

Where, oh, where has my life gone? Gone...gone...gone!! But not in vain. Two years have passed since I first settled into the China life, and I haven't regretted it, unless I was sick or something. Some days I feel like living here is so tedious, but I think it's in the daily living when we grow the most and when the Father also refines us the most. It's not really the big, crazy events that end up defining us or the legacy we have on others.

This past weekend was packed full, but really blessed as we say goodbyes and gallop through our final days in Nanchang. Some of the activities included going downtown with friends, and having our usual sister study of the Word. My favorite part was the farewell dinner and party Jodi and I held for about 10 of our closest friends. We cooked them dinner, which they devoured, and then we chatted and played card games. We also had some spiritual conversations, which I am always eager to engage in.

Some of my friends/students told me about jobs they have had or will have. I don't know if I'll ever be able to buy anything in America again, knowing that my baby students labored under crazy conditions for these items we buy. Here are two examples:

My student Talent told me about a summer job he had two years ago at a factory which manufactures clothes for export to America. His job all summer, every day, was to push around a clothes cart with small and medium sized shirts. He would put the small shirts in the "small" bin, and the "medium" shirts in the medium bin. He had to work for 16 hours a day (yes, 16!), 6 days a week, for 2 kuai an hour (about 30 cents).

My former student Karen will be working this summer in slightly better conditions at a factory which manufactures doors for export to America. Her job will be to place peepholes in doors, all day, every day. She will be working for 11 hours a day, 6 days a week for 7 kuai an hour (about $1).

I just hope that my extremely hard-working and intelligent friends can have better futures than that! And I hope that they all can one day trust in the Father, who fulfills all their needs.


Family picture with our friends and students.


Playing Nertz with our friends.


Got a picture with my favorite trash scavenger friend!


An alley picture with Nicl and Reborn.


Zongzi for sale on the street in time for Dragon Boat Festival next week.

Savoring the China life

12 days until America...

I'm still trying to savor everything around me; realizing that I probably won't see it again. Even if I do happen to return to Nanchang in the future, it won't be the same as what I experience now. For example, we are seeing an alarming influx of foreigners in our area. I used to be able to go months without spotting a foreigner on our side of town. Now it is only weeks. It's an epidemic.

I hope Nanchang and China in general never loses its innocence and quirkiness. Yesterday I was walking around a little park with one of my students, Debbie. We were meandering along, when she suddenly came to a halt, and quickly covered her eyes with her hands. I looked all around us, feeling very perplexed. In answer to my questioning look, she pointed a finger to a couple in front of who were walking and hugging each other. She whispered, "We can't walk that way. I'm so embarrassed."

I assured her that THEY were the ones who should be embarrassed, and they certainly weren't going to ruin our walk in the park. I just told her not to look, and we kept walking.

This week I noted other strange things in my classes and around town; things that have become quite normal:

Like my student fainting at the podium during her final exam speech, because of her "stomach pain," and all the girls who carried her out of the room; how I gnaw on chicken and duck bones for lunch in the cafeteria nearly every day; how I actually enjoy gnawing on chicken and duck bones; how we spit the bones on the table; how I fit so well in the crowded 220 bus; how I never have to worry about violent criminals; how one student sits in the front of my class and always peels a random giant piece of fruit with a rather large knife; how my favorite old man in our neighborhood will pause as he's digging through trash cans to smile his toothless grin at me; how we have to walk around the children going to the bathroom on the side of the street; how we use umbrellas when it is sunny outside; how we are always mindful of wearing modest clothes; how we can't say whatever is on our mind whenever we want about politics or spiritual matters; how the Chinese language has seeped into my brain; how we haul our 5 gallon drinking water up four flights of stairs once a week; how firecrackers don't make me jump anymore; how my students shout in unison, "GOOD MORNING, MISS LAURA!!" at the beginning of class...

And the list goes on! Thanks for thinking of me. I'm really starting to feel a great sense of loss. For better or worse, this has been my home, and it will be difficult not returning.


When you look up, sometimes you can see a beautiful, flowering magnolia!


Baking apple bread while communicating only in Chinese with our friends, Hannah and Lisa.


A creepy doll Jodi and I were given as a present from our Chinese friends.