Winter Fairyland

Out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my Ikea bed to see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
I threw open the curtains my Mom had lovingly made
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear?
But a miniature pick-up truck and eight tiny men shoveling a heck of a lot of snow...

I feel like I live in a winter fairyland, just like what they sing about in the millions of Christmas songs I've been listening to on the radio. I am quite excited for Christmas, or as least an American version. It's like I'm a little kid. I am, but even more so lately. Everything is magical.

On Saturday, we got several inches of gorgeous, sparkling snow. The woods behind our apartments were covered, deer played in the big, nearby field, and kids went sledding down the hills next to our neighborhood.

I begrudgingly finished all my homework so I could get on with the festive side of life. I merrily walked to the post office in the falling snow, smiling and thanking the people shoveling (another awesome reason to live in an apartment), and waving at the post people delivering mail in their tiny, boxy vehicles that weren't designed for snow. The last time I saw snowfall was in Xinjiang, China, where it was -30 degrees and they used pick-axes to clear the ice and snow on the roads... And I was less excited about the snow by Saturday night when it took me 20 minutes to dig it out of the snow that encased it.

After shedding some tears yesterday, I'm back on track. All of a sudden I felt incredibly homesick for China. I think it was sort of triggered when I was told I basically did a horrible job creating a newsletter at my job, and then when I was walking around in a daze in Target. Where did all of these gaudy Christmas decorations come from? If America's in such a terrible recession, why is everyone walking around with a pile of pointless junk in their carts? Why do people look so frazzled and anxious? And more importantly, why are people still wearing Uggs?

Well, I better get back to analyzing the Tuolumne hydroelectric project for economics. Hooray! Merry Christmas!


Some of the snow when I woke up.


Narnia at the back of our apartments.

Life Fast Forward

Hi again, folks. I know you must be surprised to hear from me again so soon. I have managed to turn in some pretty hefty assignments in the past few days, so I'm giving myself a tiny break for tonight before the crunch begins again.

A part of me wants this semester to be over now! But then I am reminded of how I love my classmates and life here. Life is also fleeting, and I can't always be wishing toward the future. I want to enjoy here and now, even if it is filled with lots of statistical software and economics case studies that threaten to drive me insane...

Besides, life is also filled with awesome people, an enjoyable job, gorgeous scenery, a great church, and so many other blessings and challenges. Last night I was leaving work at city hall in the dark at 7 p.m. It was snowing beautiful, fluffy snowflakes and had accumulated on the roofs and grass during the day. All of downtown, including city hall, was lit up with white lights and pretty wreaths. I finally had some decent boots on and was feeling rather cute and festive. I've been feeling worn out, but I am glad I can still thank God for little glimpses of heaven... except I probably won't be wearing a winter coat in heaven.

Speaking of winter coats, another thing I'm so thankful for right now is heat inside! I spent the past two, long winters decked out in multiple layers of long underwear and outerwear that I had to wear outside and inside. Remember my stories of getting chillblains on my fingers and having frozen, white toes in China? I want to practically shout for joy every time I go into a warm building here. Maybe I'll forget about that soon, but I'm still counting my blessings! We take so many things for granted here in America.

I'm also thankful for people. I have spent this semester in a small "cohort" of people. We were assigned to the cohort, and have all the same classes together. I've grown quite fond of them, and will be sad to have different classes without them next semester. I've learned a lot from them, and respect them a lot. Our last classes together are next week. The following week we have finals.

And even thought it's been freezing, I've been walking the 40 minute walk home from campus instead of taking the city bus. It has given me a lot of opportunities to clear my mind and freeze my face off. Today I was thinking about some things in American culture that changed since I was away:

What's new and didn't exist before I left for China:
-Twitter
-The recession
-Justin Bieber
-Lady Gaga
-The Obama administration
-The smart phone craze
-Leggings
-Sarah Palin

What's old and doesn't exist anymore:
-The "poof" hairstyle
-The Bush administration
-Mercury, Pontiac, and Saturn cars
-Jobs

What persists and I wish would go away:
-Uggs
-Fake tans
-The U.S. deficit
-Annoying politics
-Aforementioned leggings
-Sarah Palin

Thankfulness

On a crisp autumn afternoon last week, my dearest mother arrived on my doorstep in Bloomington! In between going to classes, Mom and I hung out, went on walks, visited my church, and talked a lot about everything under the sun. Then she and I drove the looooong way to Rochester, NY to visit our dear, dear grandparents! Andrea flew up from Florida, and we had ourselves a very pleasant, blessed Thanksgiving.

I haven't gotten to see my family much over the past few years, so every time I can see them is a time to thank the Father. And even though Andrea and I don't see each other much, we still say the same things and talk like twins. We just don't really look like twins. How can we be related?

Anyway, we got to cook, visit different places in Rochester, enjoy a bit of snow, and loved being with each other. It was also great to love and help serve and pamper our grandparents--especially Grandma, who works so hard!

I don't know what else to say, except it's sort of a let down to be back at school, still failing different quizzes, etc. But I'm trying to look forward to the awesome things and people God's put in my life here, too. I did sort of miss my classmates; they all had crazy Thanksgivings filled with events like getting engaged, going to tropical islands, and even getting into car wrecks... You might not hear much from me over the next 3 weeks with classes, papers, projects, and final exams coming to a climax.

Hope your Thanksgiving caused you to reflect on your many blessings!


Reunited with my baby sister.


Baby Andrea making an amazing apple pie from scratch! She has taken over the apple pie-making business from Grandpa-the best teacher!


Grandpa with chocolate that came all the way from Abilene, Kansas.


Sharing a laugh with the cutest grandma.


Hot chocolate weather.


Mama and Andrea.


An amazing gingerbread house at the Eastman House.

I heart China

Tonight I was at my Korean friend's house playing Balderdash with people. His Chinese roommate walked in, and I realized that I am a bit too eager when I meet a Chinese person. I meet a new Chinese person almost every day, but I am still like this. I automatically speak to them in Chinese, and then they answer me back in their perfect English. I practically attack them. He was once again from the big city of Chengdu. I have yet to meet a Chinese person here from a "lesser" city like Nanchang.

Like I said in another post, most of the Chinese who come to study must be quite well-off. Remember my Chinese friends Grace and Jian? Well, they're going to... Hawaii for our very short Thanksgiving break. Hawaii. Yep, they're rich. I've never known wealthy Chinese people. But they're still in need of friendship and a Savior.

And remember some of my baby students, who could only dream of flying on an airplane, let alone going to Hawaii? A lot of them still keep in touch with me through email or Skype. Thanks, Father, for technology that bridges the ocean! My business English students are now in their third year of college, meaning they're basically done. Most of them are leaving this month for internships in far away cities. I'm extremely proud of them, but also anxious for them. I know many of their "internships" won't be much better than toiling in a factory. Some of them might end up in factories. But I hope and pray that they'll remember there is a Father who loves them more than they could imagine, and a Redeemer who will get them through the toughest days.

One thing I couldn't quite imagine was being a Chinese believer. I happened to be a believer in China, but that was nearly totally different. I didn't have all the constraints and obstacles that most Chinese believers have. I remember hearing a pastor recently say that sometimes people need "less exhortation and more encouragement." I could exhort my fellow Chinese believers, but often they just need a whole lot of encouragement to keep running the race!

A case in point is my dear Chinese sister "R". We email nearly every week and talk frequently on Skype. It nearly broke my heart to leave her, but she needed to be able to fly on her own and with the help of fellow Chinese sisters and brothers. I have just tried to encourage, encourage, and encourage her. She has recently broken up with her non-believer boyfriend, is being engaged with her fellowship, and growing in the Word. I didn't judge her or lecture her when she had that boyfriend or often didn't go to fellowship. She needed to make her faith her own. And she needed a lot of encouragement to keep living in Him. I don't know what it's like to be a Chinese believer, but I can love them and pray for them... He's the One who changes hearts.

Please continue to think of our Chinese brothers and sisters!

I'm leaving you with a precious picture my old students sent me last week. It was their last picture (in the shape of a heart, of course) before they all left the university to find work. So sweet! Father, watch over them...

Novembering

Wow, where does life go? It's already 9:45 a.m. on November 10th, 2010! I had class at 8 a.m. this morning and took yet another economics quiz. I may have actually gotten better than a 70% this time. Studying for those quizzes and preparing for the econ papers makes me want to tear my hair out most days.

Speaking of hair, one of my classmates who is only 23 dyed her hair recently. She said it's because she found gray hair, which she attributes to the stress at grad school. (I think I would also attribute some of it to her boyfriend, who's always around).

I'm 24, thankfully without gray hair, and am starting to feel a wee bit old. Yesterday I got my hair cut by a woman who looked in her late 20s. She had perfect hair, perfect makeup, and super stylish clothes. She looked a good 5 years old than I was. Then she started talking about how she's 24 and an "old maid." It was really strange. If she's an old maid at 24, doesn't that also make me an old maid? I didn't really care about that part. But why don't I look 24? I think I'm going to go straight from looking 18 to 35.

I also try not to care about those things, because there are also a lot of other better things to think about. My Chinese friend, Grace, has still been coming to church with me. This past Sunday she also brought her boyfriend, Jian, who is from Beijing. They are both very well-off. I've never really hung out with Chinese people who are far richer than I am. I drove us all to church in my Ford (which I'm thankful to have!) and he nonchalantly mentioned the brand-new Audi he has. I was like, "Son, why am I driving?" Later he did pay for us when we went out to eat lunch at a Chinese restaurant, although I tried to fight him for the bill true Chinese-style.

Grace's parents are government officials, meaning they have amazing security and perks for life. Jian's parents are bankers. They both studied at the best universities in Beijing. The majority of all their classmates from China are also studying in America. It's the thing to do. They have led almost opposite lives from my dear baby students in Nanchang. Most of my students' parents were poor farmers or migrant workers in factories...

But no matter rich or poor, everyone still needs to know His love! Please remember Grace and Jian--I'd love to study the Word with them! They are both very open.

Treading Water

It's November! Life is feeling very fall-ish here. The majority of the leaves have fallen off the trees, and I've realized that leaving my winter shoes and clothes in China don't help me much in America...

Oh, and I was looking forward to being nice and toasty in my American classrooms. In China, there wasn't any heat inside, so it was literally the same frigid temperatures inside as outside. However, being a student in IU's School of Public and Environmental Affairs, our program has embraced the campus-wide "energy challenge." And, of course it turns out that our building is currently winning this contest. That means it's practically dark and freezing inside. So ironic and funny!

Although the weather's quite chilly and crispy now, it was quite warm for a couple days early last week. The "historic storm" that was all over the news passed through here Tuesday. Tuesdays are the only days I don't have class or work in the morning. Apparently six tornadoes touched down in the state, and the tornado sirens also went off here. I momentarily hid in my little closet, but figured that wouldn't help much, so I stood transfixed at the window, mesmerized by the torrential rain, 60 mph winds, and swirling clouds. Too bad I wasn't working at City Hall then. A lot of my friends and co-workers had a great time during the tornado sirens.

In other news, I feel like I'm truly beginning to understand the saying, "just trying to keep your head above water." I've never felt quite so overwhelmed by classes, exams, and projects. I feel like I'm average in my classes, which I'm fine with at this point. In managerial economics, the class average is a C-. Yep, that's me! It's sort of funny to see a class full of over-achievers get worked up about that. I've kind of given up caring. As long as I somehow pass!!

Although it feels like I'm about drowning, I have managed to carve out time to hang out with lots of different people. It also helps that I have to work with people in studying for exams and working on projects. I would be doing a lot worse if I couldn't ask my classmates for help. As an undergrad, I was independent and self-sufficient. I would fail now if I tried learning and doing everything on my own.

I've also been getting to know my Chinese friend, Grace, who has been coming to church with us. Please think of our relationship! She has already latched onto our friendship, saying I'm her "favorite American friend." Why do Chinese people automatically draw toward me, when there are tons of other interesting white people? I guess it's either because I'm half-Chinese, or it's a gift from the Father. Maybe my mom somehow raised my sister, Andrea, and I as Chinese. Andrea also has tons of Chinese friends, and is actually doing a Bible study with interested Chinese girls on her campus. Please think of them! :)

Here's some more random pictures of late:


At church with Grace.


Picture during church, courtesy of Grace.


Chinese pose with Jenn, who also happened to have lived in China.


Went to "Little Women" the opera with my friends. I love "Little Women," but it should not be made into a bizarre opera.

Flashbacks

Thanks for your many wonderful thoughts that helped me get through the past week! The week could have potentially turned out differently. I was tired, studied out, and discouraged. But the Father got me through exams, quizzes, papers, projects, and work. I tried my best, and so far it seems that I'm still in grad school. :) He filled me with diligence, peace, energy, and encouragement for others.

This past week I also had to sign up for next semester's classes--already! In case you couldn't remember (I barely can), I'm studying Public Affairs with concentrations in public management and nonprofit management. And while a part of me wants to think ahead to the future for internships, a way to return to China, etc., I can't live in the future.

In fact, I've been having little snippets of memories flood back from my time in China:

-I've been reading a great book called "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan," by Lisa See. It's about 1800s China, and all the things involved with being a proper woman in China: footbinding, childbearing, sickness, famine, obedience to elders and males, and modesty. I recalled being in Reborn's home and listening to her dear Grandma explain the painful process of having her feet bound. It was so painful, but also a great source of pride for her. Her parents also told us stories about famine, and how they had to eat bark to survive. Women no longer get their feet bound, and famine hasn't happened in China for a long time now, but I can see strong connections in others ways with traditional and modern China. Many of the same thoughts, beliefs, traditions, social structures, and motivations persist today. So many things my students told me now make a lot more sense.

-I read an article on the BBC about Chinese people creating video games to vent their frustrations with the authorities: One game, Peddlers vs. City Enforcers, "pits street vendors against officials trying to remove them." Immediately I remembered walking down the back alley of our school where illegal vendors sold their goods. Illegal vendors are everywhere in China, but only sometimes are they punished.

I'm not sure if I ever wrote about it in my blog, but one day as I was walking in the alley, I saw the uniformed "enforcers" arrive. Most of the vendors saw them coming, packed up their bicycle carts, and silently disappeared down deeper alleys. One older woman wasn't so fortunate. She couldn't get away in time. The enforcer zeroed in on her, angrily tipped her bicycle cart over, scattering her few goods everywhere. Then he began beating her as he yelled. Everyone else stood silently by. My presence as a foreigner didn't help either. In fact, my very presence could get her in more trouble, so I quickly got out of there. Thank goodness Watermelon Lady wasn't there.

-Every day I see and talk to my Chinese classmate, "Grace." While she is far richer and better educated than my precious baby students, she is still sweet and very Chinese. When I see her clothes or hear her accent, I always think about all my friends in China. Then I am motivated anew to befriend and love my fellow international students.

-This morning I saw a typical-looking Chinese family talking a walk. The mother wore a reflective visor over her face to protect her skin, even though it was cloudy. Their child was naturally a boy. I thought about all the elaborate gear women wear in China to keep their skin white. That was one thing that I never had to worry about in China--my pale skin was prized like "tender tofu," according to my students.

-Remember the camping dilemma? My friends still went camping, but I decided to go to a missions dinner at my church last night instead. I was the only person under 40, but it was an amazing time to meet other people who also have a passion and heart for missions. There were also about 10 missionaries that shared. My church supports at least 50 full-time missionaries, which is incredible.

I sat next to a man serving all over the world, primarily in Thailand and southern China. I talked with another older lady who serves in southwestern China. She and her husband have been there since China reopened in the early 1980s. We both talked about the amazing pace of change there.

Perhaps the most exciting was a man I talked to who is with Navigators International Student Ministry on our campus. He said that there is such a need for help at their English conversation clubs. He also said there is a need for a woman (like me!) to meet one-on-one with some of the female international students. There are many Chinese students, in particular. Wow. What do you think? That's exactly what I did in China, and I miss it. It seems like such an answer to prayer to be involved with international students that way.

-Summer internship hunting has also got me thinking about China. I started applying to places in the federal government, but my heart's still in China...

Thanks for your thoughts! I love you all and am praying that you will be renewed with His strength this upcoming week.