Times are changing

Happy mid-February! This is always a fun month, because it's bitterly cold, cloudy, and seemingly never ending. But a lot of neat things have been happening. Plus, when you have to stay inside, there are always great opportunities to read, reflect, and just continue to abide in Christ.

This past week has had an international theme. Well, more like a Chinese theme. I still help out at the English conversation class at our church, where about 95% of the students in the group are Chinese.

Friday was one of my Chinese friend's birthday. We ate hotpot in his apartment, which I hadn't had since China. It was very authentic, and felt just like we had been transported back to China. I was just sad that I forgot so much of my Chinese and couldn't really contribute to any conversations.

I also got to talk on Skype with Reborn in Xinjiang! She was still at her little home with her little family in her little tiny, extremely remote town where Kelsey and I visited exactly 2 years ago. When we visited, the Internet had been cut off for 10 months to the entire province, which is like a step back into the 1800s. Now they have Internet and her family even has a brand new desktop computer!

So I got to catch up with Reborn and see her dear little face. I also talked with her other family members, who seemed like they would explode with excitement. One by one they came to the computer to give their greetings. Her sweet, funny mom asked about my mom, tried to feed me a baozi through the computer, and asked about my relationship status. Then her dad came to sit down, and munched on some nuts in his navy sweater. He looked and acted exactly the same. He seems like the most serious guy in the whole world, but is actually really funny and has a huge heart. He asked me about my school, what I'm studying, etc. All of this was mostly relayed through Reborn the translator.

Last but not least, her grandma sat down in front of the computer! She is now 90 years old and still has her little bound feet. She is still extremely tiny, hard of hearing, and cute. She wore her pretty padded jacket, with a little hat on her head. Out of everyone, she was probably the most excited. I got all teary-eyed when I saw her. She remembered me, asked about Kelsey, and just couldn't believe I was talking to her from America. For the remainder of my conversation with Reborn, Grandma sat right alongside her, looking quite intently at the computer screen. Gosh, I miss them!

Hopefully you can be lifting Reborn up! We actually seem to be at similar junctures in our life. She is also figuring out what to do when she graduates this semester. But she isn't anxious, and we were able to encourage each other a lot. She also shared some exciting news about how 2 of her classmates I remember teaching as baby freshmen are now sisters! They started going to fellowship a long time ago with her, and are now reading the Word avidly. They are 2 students I never really imagined coming to know Him, but God works in much more amazing ways than I can ever think possible. And it's just incredible to think how God can use one person like Reborn to have a ripple effect for all eternity...

The only non-Chinese-y thing beside homework I did was going to the opera with my friends. Usually it's held on campus at a huge, very modern concrete theater that feels more like a spaceship than a theater. This opera, however, was held downtown for some reason at the Buskirk-Chumley theater which was built about a century ago. It's much, much smaller, and you feel just like you stepped into the 1920s. The opera, Albert Herring, was pretty entertaining, and was in English, which is rare.

Xingjiang circa 2010.

Xinjiang circa 2012 + Reborn's older sister!

Skyping with baby Reborn! She had just woken up.

Grandma Liu on Skype.

My fellow SPEA and opera friends looking quite glamorous.

Wearing Mom's dress to the opera--hopefully the audience wasn't too distracted! And I curled my hair for the first time in many moons.

Close, but no cigar

Hi folks! Hope you've been enjoying the fine month of February so far! We've been blessed with nearly a week of unseasonably gorgeous weather. After work today I managed to run off a lot of my pent up energy on the cross-country course out in the beautiful sunshine.

I guess I just wanted to keep my faithful blog readers posted on recent interview/job developments. Apparently the company I interviewed for last week narrowed it down to me and another candidate. They had such a difficult time making a decision, that they had to discuss it the following day. I guess they were extremely impressed by my skills, experience, and application of knowledge to the business, but decided I wasn't quite assertive enough, which seems to be my biggest weakness in life. So ultimately they offered the job to the other person.

I'm disappointed, especially knowing how extremely close the decision was. I didn't expect to make it that far in the process anyway--just to make it to the final round of interviews and then to be in the top 2 was an honor (among a bevy of folks from Columbia and Stanford). But I feel like I don't have any regrets, especially since I put my best foot forward, represented myself well, and decided to trust God no matter the outcome.

Thanks for all your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement! It's always nice to know that I have a wonderful support network in Indiana, Kansas, and wherever else.

Enjoy Super Bowl weekend!

The Executive

This past week has been pretty crazy in a lot of ways. I've been tired, stressed, and overwhelmed, but I felt such incredible peace about everything. I know there have been a lot of people praying for me, and I could tell... Thank you!!

Classes and life stepped into full gear this week. Definitely the most challenging and time-consuming class is my capstone project. There are 30 of us working with a client--the local NPR station--on assessing the future of the station. Trying to organize a project like that on our own among 30 people is just a wee bit challenging. In addition, I am one of the people in charge of data analysis, which will include creating databases and using regression analysis. It's certainly not my greatest talent, but I'm sure I'll learn a lot.

The week was topped off by a day and a half in downtown Indianapolis, which is hosting the Super Bowl next weekend. The entire place was a madhouse. Police and Super Bowl planner people littered the streets. Every street seemed blocked off. Somehow I made it on Thursday afternoon to the four-star Omni hotel, which is attached to the Super Bowl village. I've never stayed in such a nice place. I drove up to the hotel, and two valets immediately jumped to help me. After they took my car away, another couple valets opened the doors for me to the hotel.

I was staying there because I had an interview with a big company based in Indy. There were about 14 other candidates who made it to the final round with me, and we were hosted at the swanky hotel. So on Thursday night we all went to eat dinner, and then had 7 hours of interviews today! It was one of the most grueling things I've ever been a part of. The other candidates were all extremely intelligent, and attended prestigious programs at Standford, NYU, Columbia, etc. I think I was the only person from a state school. There were only four of us girls, and the rest were guys who all looked like they were from Calvin Klein ads. Too bad I wasn't looking for a boyfriend!

It was a great learning experience, because I felt like I represented my skills and knowledge well. I gave it 100% effort, and can't regret anything. I certainly was lacking in business skills, though, which I don't think really helped me. No matter the outcome, I'm thankful that I even made it that far, and am satisfied with how it went. I'm a dearly loved child of God, and my status or identity is not dependent on my job... And I'm not really thinking I want to work in the corporate world anyway. Sealing the deal for $1 billion contracts could never compare to sharing the Gospel, although I suppose you could potentially do both...

Now all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep for 100 years. Good night!

The executive look. I was definitely the sharpest dresser there! :)

Majesty

I'm thankful for the past week, which has been filled with a lot of interesting highlights (and some lowlights, too). Classes are interesting, and it's great to be back around dear classmates and friends. Although the weather has been crazy--with snow and 1 degree temperatures one day and then thunderstorms, tornadoes, and 60 degree temperatures the very next day, I haven't seemed to notice all that much.

It's also nice to be back with international friends. Our InterVarsity GFM chapter posted a guest blog I wrote about reaching out to internationals--my favorite topic! If you need some more reading material, check it out here.

Another interesting tidbit--Last night I had a dream where I was in a beautiful field, although I don't know where. I remember that the sky was an incredible blue with magnificent purple, pink, and orange clouds. The sun cast a soft, golden light over everything. It was very peaceful and awe-inspiring. I remember reflecting on God's goodness and creativity. Then this morning driving to city hall, I was on a road where you have a good view of the sky, which is difficult to find in hilly, tree-covered southern Indiana. The sky and sunlight looked exactly like my dream! It didn't even look real, it was so amazing and dream-like. I thanked God for such a glorious sight. About 30 minutes later I was waiting for a meeting to start, when I glanced up at a random painting on the wall. The watercolor painting had a sky and field that looked exactly like my dream! At this point I knew it couldn't just be a coincidence. I don't know what it means or if there is any meaning at all, but at least my sights and focus have been on our awesome Creator today!

Hope you also have the opportunity to look up and see Him today!

Hello, 2012!

I've been living in a fog and finally realized that it's really truly a brand new year! Over the past couple of weeks I have tried to start writing another blog post and seem almost overwhelmed by paralysis. I used to love writing, and now I feel like I can barely write a single word that truly reflects what God is teaching me or what's on my heart. For once in my life, words just aren't adequate. I also get to be a "guest" blogger on our InterVarsity Graduate Faculty Ministry blog this upcoming week. What should I express? Where do I start?

I could write about all the struggles going on in my heart and mind, especially about the future, but I won't. At this point in time, I just desperately want to keep my eyes fixed on Christ, and everything else always falls into place. The biggest temptation grad school seems to offer on a regular basis is to be consumed by self.

We started classes up again this week. It's my final semester! Sometimes I still think I made a horrible mistake by coming back to America to get my degree in something that has turned out to not really interest me. But I have been able to be used by God for His glory and purposes not only in the classroom, but especially outside of it. Who knew that God would give boldness to share the Gospel and befriend so many people even in southern Indiana?

So I have chosen not to dwell on the "what ifs" and "should haves." There are different seasons in life, and this one has just been particularly challenging and often frustrating. However, although I feel like I've often walked in the desert, God has been there all along. I've grown and been refined in ways I didn't think were possible. Through the desert experience I've had to call out to God nearly constantly, and even in the desert there is beauty! I've grown up a lot in the past year or so...

Oh, and if you're looking for an awesome, relevant read this winter, you should definitely read "A Praying Life," by Paul Miller. It's probably one of the top three books I've read, which is high praise coming from someone who regularly reads 3 or 4 books (excluding textbooks!) a month.

So long, 2011!

It is still 2011 here in Kansas. After several gorgeous days of sunny, 60 degree weather a cold front has just blown through and winds are gusting around 40 mph. Tonight on the last night of 2011 I am just reflecting over the past year. I just came from my dad's house, where I ate a great dinner with my dad, Marilyn, and three of her grandchildren, who are all teenagers. I asked how old they are. Then they asked me my age, probably thinking I was 20 or something, because I talk like it and still dress like it. I said, "25" and felt like I was lying. But I'm not.

I just don't feel 25. Aren't a lot of 25 year olds different? Most of them seem to have a job, wear grown up clothes, maybe are married, and might have a kid or three. And they probably have nice highlights in their hair. I feel like a fraudulent 25 years old. I still have no clue what I want to do when I grow up, I'm quite content to be single, I've never tasted alcohol, and I still leap down all the stairs when coming downstairs. I pay my rent and buy gas for my car, but beyond that, I don't think I qualify as a proper 25 year old.

Anyway, this past year as a 24 and 25 year old has been probably one of the most challenging and colorful years of my life (to borrow words from my Chinese friends). When I think about 2011, I think about the desert, to be honest. This past year I have made so many mistakes and taken a lot of wrong turns. But the amazing thing is that I don't walk through the desert alone! Jesus has always waited for me with open arms.

And there were a lot of non-deserty experiences in 2011 that I can focus on:
-Thriving in grad school despite the desire to give up!
-Going to fancy parties with Congressmen and ambassadors in D.C.
-Beginning to like running.
-Growing in so many relationships with friends and family.
-Learning to be more authentic.
-Reading through the New Testament.
-Trusting in God more and more each day.
-Realizing that anxiety has been replaced by peace in my heart.

Thanks for the memories, 2011! And hello, 2012!

In closing here are just a few pictures from the past several days at home. I was blessed to have two little sisters under my tutelage. :)

Andrea and Christina, who stayed with us for 10 days.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care...

International game night at Kathy's!

Homecoming

Wow, where has life gone? A week ago I was taking finals in Bloomington and now I've returned home to the prairie. It feels like this December has been full of little adventures, trials, and triumphs.

During my last days of the semester in Btown, I had a marvelous time finishing up tons of huge papers and exams, which is nothing new or interesting. Thankfully I finished well, and didn't get sick or fall apart at the very end.

One of the best events was the Christmas party Cindy and I hosted for some of our closest international students friends. We baked gingerbread cookies from scratch and even played "Christmas Bingo," which Cindy and I designed quite cleverly. It was refreshing to be laughing and baking and talking with our friends who don't really know much about the holiday.

In that last week our Chinese study of the Word also completed discussing "Who is Jesus?" It was a really challenging Bible study, and I just pray that everyone continues to have open hearts and minds!

I returned back home to Topeka a few days ago, and then pretty much immediately went to central Kansas to visit a friend. It's like an entirely different culture there! Topeka does not seem to be representative of the state. We did some fun, crazy activities, like visiting one of the "8 Wonders of Kansas"--the Underground Salt Museum and seeing the world's longest grain elevator (.5 miles) in Hutchinson. There seemed to be a barn or grain elevator every direction you turned.

The Salt Museum was probably the most exciting. It is part of a salt mine that has been in operation since the 1920s, and is still functioning! Apparently they have enough salt down there to mine for another 25,000 years... We had to wear hard hats, and they gave us air canisters to wear on our hips, in case there is a fire or carbon monoxide is released down there. And "down there" was 650 feet below the ground, or about 65 stories. We got into a freight elevator and slowly descended down the shaft, which took about 2 minutes in total pitch black darkness. The darkness was so profound that I had to close my eyes.

Once we got out of the lift, it was quite well-lit in the mine, which was miles long and wide. It was sort of like a miniature city down there. Much of what enters the mine never leaves. For example, we could see rusty vehicles and trash from the 1950s on the ground, which is very well preserved in the environment. Other things are also well preserved there. A storage company has an underground vault there to protect documents and artifacts from disasters. We could see tons of cases of films, which Hollywood companies had sent there to protect forever. You could also see lots of movie costumes, which were also preserved underground.

After about 3 hours wandering around, my mouth could start tasting the salt in the air. It was a really neat experience, but I was so thankful when we got above ground and stood out literally on the prairie. The Kansas sky, sunshine, and miles of flat, gold-colored land stretched out before us was one of the most beautiful sights in the world I think!

Now I've returned north to Topeka, the state capital. After spending the weekend a good 200 miles away, you could start of understand why a lot of Kansans feel disconnected with the capital. The people in much of the rest of the state are extremely independent. Most of the economy is tied to agriculture. And I think the people have to also be resilient to live out there in the middle of nowhere, on the wild, wind-swept prairie, which seems bigger than the ocean!

It's rather nice to be back in civilization, but I know I also need to keep busy the next couple of weeks. It's been raining a lot today, which I don't remember happening that much here. For example, when I got home, I shook off my umbrella and realized I didn't know where to put it. Where have I put my wet umbrella in the past? I recall rarely using an umbrella, especially since if it did rain here, it was normally during crazy thunderstorms that swept through at night. After all those thoughts went through my mind, I decided on the garage as a good resting place for my umbrella. It's nice to be home!

Christmas cookie bakers in our apartment from Vietnam and China!

Helen, a spectacular cookie decorator.

Our Christmas party bunch.

An awesome statue in Wichita.

Dusk in the middle of Kansas.